When I was working full-time, I would often get the “Sunday Blues,” which is how my sister and I defined Sunday evening. Depending on the day or the week ahead, the Sunday Blues could hit the moment you woke up or they could creep in slowly over the day. It didn’t matter, by 8 p.m. that evening you were in full blown Sunday Blues mode. The Sunday Blues were that mix of a feeling of loss that you just couldn’t relax and enjoy your day off and the feeling of angst about the week to come. Particularly when I would be facing a difficult conversation slated that week, the Sunday Blues were the worst.
Today, I still get a version of the Sunday Blues, particularly when I have to travel which is one of the things I like the least about being a consultant. But, the blues are much less frequent and Sundays are no longer the dreaded beast they used to be. Instead, they really are just laid-back, easy Sundays most of the time. Now, because I work from home, Sundays often involve at least an hour or two of work. But, as that work comes on my timeframe and when I feel like doing it, it’s changed my reaction. Instead of resenting that work has crept into my precious free time as I did in the past, I mostly view the Sunday work as just getting a little head start on the week ahead.
If I’m critical and self-honest, I would note that I think that some of the reasons why I don’t dread Sunday evenings anymore or Monday morning workdays is also because I love my job. Although I spend a lot of time in this blog talking about either how little I work and/or how much I enjoy my time out of work, the fact is that I really work only 20% less than I used to. But the work I do is so enjoyable and intriguing that most of the time, it doesn’t feel like work. In fact, when I told my husband last week that I had to work over the weekend my comment was, “But it feels like a puzzle I need to solve so I’m kinda looking forward to it.”
So perhaps one of the fallacies in this blog is that I am suddenly working part-time and have all of this wonderful free time. Truth is, I’m working 80% time. With the drive-time savings and the extra hours I used to put in at my old job, it’s really more like 60% of my former effort (and that’s only really been in the past year; before then I was almost working full-time). But all the same, I’m still working a significant amount.
Regardless, I don’t get the Sunday Blues that often anymore and that’s what is really significant to me. Instead, psychologically, I get that time back. I’ve reclaimed it from the bin in my mind that’s labeled “Time Wasted on Worry” and put it back into the “Free Time to Enjoy” bin. And in reclaiming that time, I’ve essentially given myself more free time and it feels like I’m working even less than I am. As I don’t spend my Sunday anxiously planning the week ahead or my Saturdays furiously cleaning the house so the following week doesn’t become chaotic at both home and work, I reclaim free time.
What I realize now is that I had allowed work to consume so much of my life and time that even my free time became work time. It’s funny because I used to emphasize at work that families came first and that work needed to stay within bounds to my staff, but I couldn’t practice it myself. I couldn’t walk through the door and hang up the proverbial jacket that was my work life and enjoy home. And so eventually, I think I just stopped even attempting to hang up the work jacket and just left it slung over a dining room chair, at the ready to be quickly slipped back on.
As I continue to make this transition to part-time and working from home, it’s vitally important to me that I keep reclaiming back that time from the work and Time Wasted on Worry buckets and reinvest them back into living my life. As I’ve mentioned earlier, I got this one mulligan to reinvent my life. This past year has given me an incredible perspective on what a reinvented life can look like. Now, I just have to guard against my old instincts and habits kicking in. I am hopeful that I can do it because the rewards I’ve already reaped have been so worth it. Learning life lessons like this are hopefully transformative and will stick. I need them to. I can’t go back to the Sunday Blues.
The Yuppie Homesteader 