So, like all good wannabee decorators, I watch a fair amount of HGTV and I’ve got a number of Pinterest boards. In fact, I’d probably be happy if HGTV was the only show on TV. Regardless, I got myself a hankering for a church pew. It seemed to be all the rage. Every time a decorator used a church pew, my heart would flutter just a little bit. So, imagine my great surprise when a church in town decided to remove all of its pews and go to chairs with armrests to make getting in and out of the seats more comfortable for its older worshippers. It was literally like manna from heaven.
The first thing I did was panic. It had been two hours since someone had posted to Facebook that these were available. Would they all be gone? I desperately hoped not. But, they were only charging $100 a pew and I just couldn’t imagine how any could be left. I called the number and left a voice mail. In the half-hour it took to get a return call, I became absolutely certain I would get bad news. (I’m such a little Debbie Downer sometimes.)
Anyway, I got the return call. Can you imagine that? I would be the first purchaser. Not wanting to risk my luck – she had already received a couple of other calls but no purchases yet – I grabbed my checkbook and flew out the door. I had already warned my husband that this was a possibility, so I felt no guilt in not confirming it. I had to get to my destination and buy my pew.
So, I got there and met with the very nice woman who assured me that they hadn’t had many takers yet. In fact, if I wanted more than one, she was pretty sure that there would be some available. But, since I was first, I was also getting the pick of the litter. I’m easily sold.
When we got into the details, she explained that the pews were 10-feet long, were solid oak and showed me some pictures. The only things that weren’t exactly appealing was the honey oak stain on the pew and the carved cross in the side of the pew. Other than that, I was all in. I paid my $100 and assured her that I would make arrangements to pick it up when she called me that they were ready. (They were still taking the pews out of the church.)
It wasn’t until the way home that I began thinking about how on earth I would be able to get a 10-foot church pew home. Let’s chalk this up as my first rookie planning error. It would be, of course, one of my husband’s first questions.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “Perhaps I’ll rent a moving truck for a couple of hours.” It was the best I had. And I wasn’t about to let a little detail like this stand in my way. It would turn out that I hadn’t needed to worry. Since I was on the way of another stop where a church member was delivering several of the pews, he offered to drop it by the house. Problem solved. No worries.
Then, I told my husband the size.
“Did you measure to see if it will fit?” he asked.
“Yes,” I lied glibly. I hadn’t measured it. I hadn’t even thought of that honestly. We have a big house. Anyway, why do details have to get in the way? However, as soon as his back was turned, I measured the dining room. Whew. It would fit. It was way too big, but it would fit into the space. When he returned, I told him the truth. That I hadn’t actually measured when he asked but I had since measured and all was good. I genuinely don’t like to lie to anyone – particularly my husband – so it was best to clear the air. He just shakes his head at my decorating ideas anyway, so I knew this one wasn’t a big deal.
Lo and behold, the day and the church pew arrived. I had cleared a spot. It was way too big. And heavy. My goodness, 10 feet of solid oak is heavy. I could barely move it and since it was so oversized, my husband was less than enthusiastic about moving it a whole lot for me.
“I thought you said you measured it,” he stated as we moved it again.
“I did,” I swore. “Not until after I bought it, but I did measure. It’s just a little too big.”
That was an understatement. It was about two feet too long. And those two feet made it a huge obstacle to maneuver around.
That’s when John, our kitchen contractor came to my rescue. When we decided to do the kitchen, my husband had one piece of sage advice for me: “Don’t cheap out. Get what you want.” Now, to some, that may be my husband demonstrating his great generosity and kindness. In a way, it was. But there was another message there: he was doing this only once. If I cheaped out – as was my tendency – and hated it later, he wasn’t going to be thrilled if I wanted to redo the kitchen.
So, we hired John and my husband was very specific: do everything you need to do the right way and we don’t care about cost. In fact, we didn’t need to actually pull down all of the drywall in the kitchen but when my husband saw the state of the insulation, he made a deal with the contractor. Darryl would pull out all of the insulation over the weekend and hang new so John didn’t have to deal with it on Monday.
John – who is a terrific contractor and we couldn’t have been more lucky – mentioned that he also liked to restore furniture and give it new life. I gather he may have noticed the humongous church pew in the dining room. However, as our project went over budget and over time, a small part of me felt guilty for asking him to do one more thing. The rest of me was all in, particularly after my husband mentioned that the only way to actually “fix” the pew situation was to cut it down. So, I asked John and the sweetheart that he was, he said he’d do it and add it to the bill.
John took the pew, cut it down to eight feet and filled in the carved cross on each side. Then, he asked me to pick a color. Let’s call this mistake #2.
At first, I determined that I wanted the bench red. That room needed a little punch of color. John kept asking if I was sure. That was my first clue. Finally, he called me and said I needed to come to his shop. He thought I just may be disappointed in the color. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he absolutely hated it.
Sure enough, it was awful. It just didn’t work the way I thought it would. I hesitated. Should I just go white? White is universal but I could see it being too stark. My whole kitchen was white cabinets. No, white seemed a little too stark. John suggested black. Having no faith in my own color choosing ability, I agreed. A week later, the black pew showed up in my newly remodeled kitchen and dining room.
That’s when my mistakes were redeemed. Today, the dining room boasts my black church pew, a long solid pine farmhouse table and leather side chairs. We have seating – when we need it – for 12. As we finish our interior remodeling, currently the bench is hiding the posts and beams which need to be placed downstairs. But once it’s done and the walls between the dining room and foyer and dining room and fireplace room get opened up, the table, bench and chairs are going to be sized just right for this house and for entertaining.
So, we bought a pew. And while I made a few mistakes along the way in the acquisition, lack of delivery system and final product design, it all turned out okay. Even my husband likes the pew with John’s modifications.
The Yuppie Homesteader 