The past week has brought about a pretty happy change. First, I took five days off. Essentially, I already had a four-day weekend with the Memorial Day holiday, but I added on a day to make it a five-day weekend. Not something I do often but after not having a vacation since the end of February and working more weekends than I had intended to, it just made sense. So, it was a glorious five days where the pressures of work didn’t seep in.
And I learned quite a few things over those five days. The first was that it isn’t always the “pressure” of work but more the disruption of work that bothers me. What do I mean by that? Well, in a typical day, I am in at least 3-4 different headspaces. On a bad day, like today, I’m in 6, 7 or even 8 head spaces. All of that makes for an actually unproductive and stressful day. But, when I was able to block off my time and eliminate work intrusions I actually got two different projects done without much ado.
The second lesson I learned was that you don’t have to have great weather to have a good time. Here in the northeast it was a cold and rainy holiday weekend, except for Monday. The temperature was in the 50s and it was gray and rainy from start to finish. So, what did I do? Gathered my sisters and nieces for an impromptu shopping trip. We got my niece some clothes for her upcoming honeymoon, we each bought a few things ourselves, we had lunch together and just basically spent the day together. Then, because the next day – Sunday – didn’t look much better, Darryl made gumbo and we took it up to my sister’s house for dinner. Everyone came over, had some good food and good conversation. The following morning, when the weather broke and it was nice, I spent an hour on the phone with my sisters just recalling what a great weekend it had been. They were out for a walk; I was sitting on the back deck in the sunshine.
And that’s when the third and most important lesson to be learned kicked in: I have all the things I need in life to be happy but I just need to appreciate them. Essentially, if I’m honest, I’ve been given everything I have ever even thought of wanting. My husband, our families, great friends and even two furry beings who dominate this household. We live an incredibly simple life – albeit it a hard one – and try to provide as much as we can for ourselves. We don’t need much but with what we have, our cup overflows again and again.
So, I woke up Tuesday with a renewed sense of purpose. Due to varying factors, I can actually begin working less starting this month and despite a somewhat wild day yesterday, I intend to do just that. And I also plan on putting family and home life in the center of my world. Take today. It’s an absolutely crazy one. I am in seven headspaces today beginning at 8:30 a.m. and ending at 2:30 p.m. My brain will literally be shot when I hang up from that last call. But at 2:30 p.m., my husband wants to leave to go to a small sprint triathlon about an hour from here. Normally, I would have had him go on without me, needing to finish up loose items then decompress from my day. Today? I’m going with him. We always enjoy the time we spend at triathlons and I’ll enjoy seeing him compete. I won’t be anywhere I can’t be reached by cell phone or email and I can respond in an emergency. But most of all, I will put us and our family first.
I sometimes act like slowing down my life was as simple as making one bold decision to throw on my blinker light and exit the highway at the next exit. From there, I make it seem like it was a leisurely drive down a couple of main roads and then a few left-and-right turns down side streets to get to where I am today. The fact is, while it did take a scary-bold decision to let it all go and I did navigate those back streets, I sometimes inadvertently get in my car and head back to the highway. In a strange way, it’s what is comforting and known to me. So, I have to pull myself up short and force myself to navigate back to those calm, quiet side streets. But, when I do, I am always rewarded.
It is, I’ve learned, a matter of perspective. The discipline it took to work 10, 12 and 14-hour days to make a struggling business survive has to be applied here. I need to focus my attention on what really matters and navigate those mazes. It would be easier, in some ways, to go back to what mattered before and what is familiar, but if I do I cheat myself and all of those I love. So instead, I will keep patiently teaching myself perspective and reinforcing my new values. And just like everything else, those values will “stick” a little longer this time, it will be a little easier to accomplish and I’ll find a way to a deeper understanding of what really matters.
Time to put this baby in park and stretch my legs… .
The Yuppie Homesteader 