When I started this blog, I wanted to celebrate my new life and what was different. It was so important to me that I didn’t lose perspective of where I had been and where I was now going. It was nearly four years ago today that I left my executive career. I cried all the way home, both with a sense of profound loss and also with a yearning for simple peace.
Four years later and simple peace isn’t exactly as I had expected. When we both had capacity to do more, the garden expanded. We went from growing about 150 row-feet of garden to 300. We took on renovation and home improvement projects ourselves. We added not just one but two kitties to our little family. I also immersed myself more into family life. First, it was taking care of my mom. Later, it would become doing things with my sisters and their families as well as my in-laws.
Now, Darryl has started working full-time again as he received a fabulous offer. That offer means we will likely both be able to fully retire in about three years. What that means for our lifestyle is that we will need to pull back at home. The garden can’t be so big, we won’t be travelling as often to New Orleans and we have hired a contractor to do the majority of our final renovations.
What I don’t want to lose as we transition back to his busier professional life is the same goal I had when I left my own executive role: the pursuit of simple peace. This time, the pursuit changes a little bit. Just as life continues to evolve and we continue to morph along with it, our new “best life” will have new wrinkles, new guideposts and new ideals. But the pursuit of peace and quiet? That remains.
In our new life, my career takes a backseat. For now, I will continue to work as much as I do as I had already slowed down in July in anticipation of Darryl’s new role. I’ll also take over more of our home life. That means more mowing of the grass, more shoveling of the driveway and more of the daily household chores. Honestly? I’m really looking forward to it. Will I continue to work this much? Maybe. Maybe not. We will likely give it at least six months to see where we stand. Candidly, turning down salary is never easy but if our life gets too hectic again, it will be my career this time that gets diminished. Not only is it simply fair – Darryl took a backseat to my career for several years – but it’s what I truly want.
In the meantime, I now get to focus on home. Over the past four years, I’ve made improvements around the fringes. Groceries are always planned and we rarely ever run out of something. I have a routine to make sure there are fresh, from-scratch meals on the table nearly every night. The house is generally clean and while chaos can reign – particularly during harvest season and with three fuzz buckets running around – I try to keep a lid on it. But, with both the renovations starting in January and my husband’s new role, I need to make the full pivot to home.
There are efficiencies I can bring to our little homestead. This past summer, when I reduced my working hours, I also began to more closely monitor my grocery bill, allowing it to shrink from $900 a month to around $500-600. That savings was huge and was a result of us not necessarily eating more cheaply but instead wasting less food. Once the house is fully renovated, it will be so much easier to keep the house clean and organized on a daily basis. Particularly when we have a first-floor recycling closet and a slew of new bookshelves so that we can unbox everything currently cluttering up the corners.
That’s when the real pursuit of “family simple peace” kicks in. I am so looking forward to making our home truly a soft, quiet and safe space to land for both my husband and me. He will still be working from home, so I want his office and his space to be conducive to being effective for work. I want the kitties to be well-cared for so that they are happy, fuzzy little beings that we can both enjoy without the worry and fuss that the cats need something. I can also focus on planning our vacations or even just a weekend day trip and to create those social interactions that allow us both to be a part of our own self-made community.
In short, my pivot will be more to a housewife role than a professional role. I am already beginning to define myself differently. And while I respect all professional women out there who are still making the executive life work for them, it’s time for me to fully embrace my life outside of work. In a strange way, it feels like coming home. I am excited about all this has to offer me. To focus on caring for my little family and my home; to have the time to make the holidays special and to spend time with family; and the chance to just breathe without worrying about wasted minutes. I was genuinely a great executive but if I am completely honest, that role has little appeal to me these days.
I try to avoid sweeping statements anymore because these grand announcements rarely come to anything, but here I am hopefully making my last one. It all starts today. Not because there is any particular line of demarcation for today. It’s not the start of the month and it’s not the start of the week. It isn’t a semi-structured break in my schedule. Instead, today is the day I chose. Just like I am choosing a new role in my life, I am also choosing the date that it begins. Tomorrow, my husband finishes his first week at his new job. Next week, he travels for most of the week. In my professional role, I have plenty of work to keep me busy for the hours that I need to be busy. Other than that, I have time. The garden is done and the house needs super cleaned. The leaves still need to be picked up outside. I feel like even with a stocked freezer and time every day to think about the eternal “what’s for dinner” question, it has become an afterthought. So, I can now focus on making meals special, not just making meals. I also have opportunity. I am looking forward to the next full week to get myself reorganized and reoriented around my new role. Today is the end of my workweek and I can begin this process of pivoting my life.
I have the time now to test out my new role and figure out what works and what doesn’t. Does working nearly full days four days a week allow me to take care of home, particularly if it’s all newly remodeled and doesn’t need much? Hopefully. If not, I’ll reduce my time. Am I still satisfied with focusing on life as a homemaker or do I still need to prove myself as an executive? If I do, I will increase my focus towards work and we will figure out how to maintain home. (Hint: I doubt that’s going to happen.)
Today, I start the process. I’ve got a little work to do today to finish off my week and a project for a client. When the day ends at 5 p.m. today, I can truly pivot. At this point, I have loaded the dishwasher and started a load of kitchen towels during lunch. I finished my client project just a few minutes ago. I need to run to the grocery quickly at some point and I have three little fuzzies who will each in turn want attention.
My life has turned out to be an amazing one. I have had so many opportunities to explore and determine who I am and what I am good and not-so-good at. This new chapter just feels like the perfect transition now. It’s time to let go and settle in.
Welcome home.
The Yuppie Homesteader 