In the analogy of my work life, I talk about taking the nearest exit ramp off the highway and navigating back to a quieter place. In the 1980’s, Sammy Hagar explained to us how he couldn’t drive 55 miles per hour when federal policy reduced aid to states that did not enact a 55 MPH speed limit.
Today, 55 has a different meaning for me – it’s not 55 MPH and most major highways allow at least 65 MPH. Instead, it’s 55%. Yep. I’m backing off and backing down. The past year was extremely difficult for me professionally. While my personal life is great, I was still torn in too many directions professionally. I talk a lot about being part-time but a part-time principal consultant at 75% is really almost a full-time job. Yes, I had every Friday as scheduled off but rarely did I get to enjoy the full day off. Too many times, client needs creeped in and the pressure of billable time meant it was very difficult to say no. At 55%, I actually drop my workload by another 25% and I reduce my working days to three days a week.
At this point, I need not just the relief but the different lifestyle. I am ready to fulfill the promise of the lifestyle when I first went part-time. Today, it really is about home and family being the priority and work coming in second place.
So today, I took the first steps and let my firm know that I would be reducing my FTE status as of May 1st. The timing couldn’t be more perfect. In May, we will need to prepare gardens, mowing and trimming will start and the weather will be about to burst open into summer. My goal is to train for a fall half marathon, allowing me to place a higher priority on my health and wellbeing. And because I will only be working a little less than three days a week into the future, I can also easily allow my husband to expand the garden to his content, knowing that I can happily make use of any produce we grow.
That’s what 55 is all about to me. Throughout this pandemic, I have been repeatedly failing to learn the lessons I needed to learn. When I got overwhelmed, I worked more. When I got stressed, I worried more. When I felt like I was torn in too many directions, I took on more. But now I’m here. And finally, I feel like I’ve learned a thing or two, even if I had to learn the hard way.
Further, I feel like the impact on my health is too significant to ignore any longer. I gained over 20 pounds during the pandemic and I allowed my anxiety free reign with the idea that my worry would keep us safe from Covid, from any economic repercussions and just any other bad thing that could happen to us. What happened? Well, as a result, I became a sedentary ball of stress and started having panic attacks, which I haven’t had since my early 20s. And while I was so worried, I didn’t want to pass on my stress to others, so I basically just fretted in silence. In doing so, I failed to realize that others – particularly Darryl – noticed my short fuse, my rush into escapism activities such as watching TV, and my constant questions about how everything is going. It felt like it was all on my shoulders but in reality, Darryl was bearing much of the brunt of my anxiety, having to constantly soothe me.
This next change – which is slightly less than 16 weeks away from today – is the true next chapter. I will literally spend more time in leisure than I spend at work. I will have time to get back in shape and I can make that a priority for myself. I can focus on home-prepared meals, keeping my newly remodeled home comfortable for us and making sure that we use everything we can out of the garden. As I move into summer, I can take over more and more of home allowing my husband to focus on his opportunity. Most of all? I can allow my mind to finally slow down.
Construction starts on Monday around here. This weekend, we will be packing up to make as much room as possible for the contractors to have the space they need to work. The guys will be done in 8-10 weeks. In the best-case scenario, they’re done just about half-way towards my new reduced work time. In the worst-case scenario, they’re done a little over halfway. From there, I will likely take some time to put the house fully back together and then we can truly relax.
Between now and then, I will need to work as hard as I have been but I also plan on making a little time for myself. Since Monday, I’ve walked every day. Usually three miles but at least two. I have also started listening to my gratefulness meditations. Whether you see it or not, I’ve been writing in this blog. And while I am super anxious that we get the work done that we need to get done to start renovations, I am actually trying to keep that anxiety in check. Mostly, I am trying to learn that the majority of things that I worry about everyday are really out of my hands and that my worry has no impact on the outcome. Recognizing that frees me from the obligation of worrying, even though its my most comfortable default position.
So, this is it. I’ve got 16 weeks left to the next big change. Three days left to the major renovation process. And a mandate: don’t worry.
When Sammy Haggar sang about driving 55, he sang as a man obsessed with getting to places quickly and that driving more slowly was an impediment to his lifestyle. One wonders if Sammy considered the implications of always being in a hurry, such as burnout, anxiety or frustration. Regardless, I can do 55. In fact, I need to.
The Yuppie Homesteader 