I don’t talk enough about the pursuit of simple peace or what the transition has been like. Instead, I spend an inordinate amount of time writing about the reality of everyday vs. the inspiration that got me here. When I work with clients, I describe that running a business is a mix of being both down on the dance floor – in the hub of the action – and up on the balcony – watching the action. Good leaders can’t spend too much time in either place. Instead, they have to move fluidly between the two. Roll up your sleeves and get on the dance floor to make things happen; deliberately climb the stairs to the balcony to take a broad perspective of where things are going to make strategic decisions. Here in my new “real world”? I’ve been on the dance floor a bit too much.
So, today if you indulge me, is all about the balcony and the view from beyond the chaos of cleaning up our little homestead. First, I’m going to need to take some deep yoga breaths to get there. Even though I’m living my dream of part-time, I’ve been so keyed up about making a difference at home that I’ve been as tightly wound as I’ve ever been.
Good. Now that that’s done, I need a fresh, strong cup of coffee. That will help me relax into my easy chair and tell you just a little bit about what I wanted most from life in the slow lane and how it grounds me into the person I want to be. Be right back!
(For those of you wondering: yes, I did just do my yoga breathing and then got myself a cup of coffee.)
So, about that inspiration… .
Life, for me, is really about simplicity. While we do not necessarily live an easier life, per se, we do live a simple life. We grow some of our own food and we use tried-and-true recipes to preserve that food. We mostly live at home, using the night sky and the beautiful clear days – particularly in summer – as our entertainment. We do things for ourselves, often the old-fashioned way, which has a rhythm and balance to it. By living on nature’s clock there is a meted-out pace to our work. The old saying about making hay while the sun shines? It’s true. But it’s that gentle rhythm that is comforting and calming. Strawberries get picked in June and cherries in July. No sense worrying about cherries when it’s strawberry season The house gets cleaned when it rains; the laundry is done when it shines. No sense doing laundry in the rain. Living this way just feels more natural. For someone who led most of my life, allowing nature to lead me and dictate the pace is more comforting than I can ever express.
Simplicity for me was about turning down the noise and allowing some space for life to creep back in. Many days, like yesterday’s post, I’m still struggling with the noise. Yes, it’s noise from home and noise from a life lived too much on fast forward that it’s now time to catch up, but noise all the same. Yet, more than before, there is quiet in my world. And more than there is quiet in my world, there is quiet in my soul.
Each day as I get one more day away from my old life, the quiet sinks in just a tiny bit more. For example, today is a rainy day and I need to work. In my old, old life, that would have meant leaving the house by 7:15 and getting home around 5 p.m. It would have been a steady stream of conversations, to-do lists, and successes and failures all rolled into a single day. In my recent old life, it would have been more simple, but still stressful. Waking up and having the ability to self-determine but realizing that in order to “stay on pace,” I would need to bill almost six hours of work and spend at least another two hours looking for future work. I may have been home and in a quiet space, but the demands were still there. Today, by merely needing to work less, the day is already less stressful. Instead of rushing to fill every void of billable time and doing work that didn’t inspire me, I can be deliberate about my future work and careful in meting out my day. The real difference here? It’s a sense of control, particularly around the amount of noise I let into my day.
In all of these scenarios – old lives and new life – I still also have a home to take care of. That includes cleaning, dinner and laundry, of course, but also special things like birthday and Father’s Day gifts, kitty care and planning small family adventures to keep us fit, active and connected. Turning down the noise in my professional life allows the whispers of my personal life to finally be heard.
When I actually take the time and pause, I can see so clearly the difference between five years ago and even two months ago. In some ways, it’s so hard to explain, though. I’ll try, but the next few paragraphs may fall unreasonably flat.
One thing I enjoy today that I could never enjoy before is a slow cup of coffee. Whether it’s out back on the deck (my favorite place to enjoy a cup of coffee), sitting in my easy chair on a rainy day or curled up next to the fire in winter, the slow cup of coffee is one true symbol of recovering my life. I also enjoy a 20-minute afternoon siesta. It’s only 20 minutes and yes, it used to extend my work day, but the sense of calm it provided me was incredible. Today, that 20-minute siesta doesn’t need to extend my work day as I have all of the flexibility in the world.
Mostly, I have time to think things through these days. Whether it’s a renovation project, what’s for dinner, where we should go on our winter vacation, what new canning recipe to try or what special treats the cats may like. There is time.
And finally… oh goodness, finally… there is the focus on home. That’s the Holy Grail for me. When I’m tidying up around the house, browsing for home supplies, planning a vacation, running errands or simply planning dinner, the focus of my life has switched to home. Let’s face it, this place – as humble as it is – is my absolute favorite place on earth. These four walls, the beings who live in here and the yard, gardens (and even garter snakes) that surround it, is my safe, happy and calm space. In reducing the noise of a busy professional career, I can now hear birdsong, kitty purrs, the sizzle of food on the grill, and even the hum of the dishwasher. It’s home. It’s always been about home.
As I look forward, I know that the next few months will be about learning to define myself as a homemaker and I just love that term, for all that some find it pejorative. A homemaker, to me, is someone who is focused on making home that soft, welcoming and comfortable place to land. It’s the person who smooths the path and creates the environment for others to go out and brave the world with all of the confidence and enthusiasm they need to be successful. A homemaker is that quiet cheerleader, the gentle presence, the embodiment of warmth and laughter tied up into an efficient little machine that makes home just feel that it is always naturally well cared for.
When I started this blog, I promised to share with you my journey as well as more interesting things like recipes and other practices I intended to try. Somewhere in the middle of this blog, I lost my way as I tried to keep up with a real life that was still too much work and not enough “slow lane” to give me the perspective to write and share meaningful and interesting things. In future, I hope to get back more fully to my true intentions. There’s a recipe for homemade marshmallows that I’m dying to share (thanks to Martha Stewart), my strawberry jam recipe that is to die for and I’m going to be doing an internet search to find a high-efficiency homemade laundry soap to try.
In all, this is a reset that was intended that way. Instead, it’s simply time to be the homemaker I was truly destined to be. My mom would be enormously proud. My soul? It’s feeling nourished.
The Yuppie Homesteader 