Choosing hope.

Ten days ago, I had a conversation with my sister. We have a family member with a serious health issue and I was reciting new statistics I had found on my scholarly literature search of research studies. As I finished, her reaction wasn’t nearly as excited as I was expecting. Instead, it seemed to stress her out. Then, she said some of the most profound words I had ever heard, “I choose to believe everything’s going to be alright. If it isn’t, I’ll deal with it when it happens. But until then, I have to believe.”

Wow. Talk about turning someone’s perspective right around. Just. Wow.

Since that time, I’ve also chosen to live with hope. There truly isn’t any badge of honor anyone is going to give me for worrying. Instead, had I chosen constant worry – which I’m apt to do – I would have missed out on some really good times. Last Friday, I took my nephew’s senior pictures and we had a ball. This past week, we went to Wisconsin for my husband’s work and had an incredibly nice time, even if there were a few stressed moments related to my family member. And yesterday, I went up to my niece’s house and helped her clean up her spare bedroom and put together the new platform bed frame in her main bedroom. Both of my sisters were there as well and we had a good time. One simple act that I did totally for myself has already reaped so many rewards!

When I started this journey five years ago, I was seeking simple peace. At that time, it meant simply that life had to slow way down – I mean WAY down. I wanted time, most of all. Time to spend with my husband, our families, our pets and in our own way. I wanted to enjoy our natural lifestyle and have time to be both human and pet momma.

Five years later, simple peace has a new meaning. It’s about having the faith that good things are just as likely to happen as bad things. It’s about not living so far into the future that something is bound to go wrong and living just enough in the now and near future that everything is pretty right. It’s about seeking joy every day and finding a reason to be happy. But more than that, it’s ALLOWING myself to be happy. I used to feel that if there was something to worry about, then the responsible thing was to worry about it until the situation had resolved or I found a solution. Today? I understand that I can choose to simply be happy and in doing so, I can enjoy the precious minutes and hours I have been given. When the bad times do come again, I’ll also be in a much better position to handle them because I’ll be coming from a perspective of peace vs. being a complete stress ball.

So, that’s my new life-changing event. Simple peace has expanded to include not just environment but state of mind. It’s about controlling some of my most basic instincts of worrying, being fearful and anxious and instead choosing to live in peace and joy. Simple peace, which was always a lifestyle aim, just got a bit of new depth to it. And I am super grateful. At 53 years old, I have actually begun to learn a new way to live.

It’s 7:36 a.m. on Saturday here. This weekend, I need to take one kitty to the vet, get kitty snacks and food, get human snacks and food, mow and trim the grass, clean the kitchen, help my husband put up the crown molding in our guest bedroom, move furniture, preserve tomatoes and beans for the winter and take care of some dried dill. I’ll also make at least one good meal – there’s leftovers for tonight – and we will get the flooring boards entered into our spreadsheet so my husband can plan the floors. Somewhere, I’ll find time for a run. The whole time? I’ll live in joy. It’s truly the only thing that I actually NEED to do. Umm, okay… the only thing I need to do outside of getting kitty snacks.