This morning, at just before 1 a.m., my little Subie pulled into our driveway. The only deer I saw the entire trip were the two deer in my front yard. Those same deer watched me unload my car, retrieve my corporate credit card from where it had slid off the seat and trudge it all into the house. Scared of me? I daresay not.
But now, I’m home. Tired from two bad nights of sleep, worn out from the stress of travel and a ton of client work and just a little bit off-kilter from being out of my element, but I’m home. Home. Home. Home.
And now, the holidays can begin. Well, not just quite yet. I need a little recovery first. But soon. As I get through my workday today, I will slowly unwind and since I am working just three of the next 11 days, I will also unplug so that I can do what makes me happiest: focusing on family, home and my real life.
But right now, I’m struggling for perspective. There seems to be a significant amount of work still standing between me and relaxation and things feel just slightly out-of-control at both home and work. It’s not, honestly, an ideal place to be… especially when one is fatigued.
That’s the thing, though. Sometimes, life doesn’t line up just the way you hoped it would. I had been expecting that I would sleep in this morning, wake up late and have an easy-ish day today and slide into my holiday preps just singing Christmas carols and making merry. Instead, I have one difficult client call, an overwhelming sense of tiredness and a slightly messier house than I am prepared to deal with. This, folks, is real life. Thankfully, after a few minutes of mourning that idealized version of today in my head, I have already re-adjusted both my plans and my perspective. Today needs to be a rest-ish day. If I don’t take a break, I am likely to end up ruining the rest of my time off by being too keyed up and strung out to be of much good to anyone.
So, here goes… .
Today, I will do my calls. My husband already adjusted dinner plans to be a trip to our local brewery for beer and pub food. My need to “get a jumpstart” on the holiday prep has been slimmed down to just one expectation today: get the duck out of the freezer to thaw. The rest? It’s going to have to wait.
And this is the moment when I remind myself of simple peace. Everything that I worked for and changed my life for comes down to these moments when life is more askew than I wanted it to be. Simple peace wasn’t about being able to completely eliminate times of stress or chaos. That would be closer to being catatonic. Life has ups, downs, curveballs… and the occasional thrills and spills. Without it, we would be merely existing. But a good life – or a good life to me – is that I can effectively, efficiently and quickly work myself out of those not-so-good moments to get back to calm more easily and more readily than I ever could before. That’s exercising simple peace.
So, today I pause. I set no expectations on myself or the day. I will merely get through. I will take moments of quiet when I get them. I will close my home and Thanksgiving worksheets and let them be for a day. I will instead, look outside at the weak fall sun attempting to burn off the frost and know that it, like me, is trying. It’s tired, too, and it’ going to take it a little more time today. But, it will make its same path across the sky, slightly shorter and at a lower angle, but it will get it done.
It’s time for a break. Time for just easy. Time to avoid as much stimulation as possible and just settle down. Time to not be all that I hoped I would be but instead all that I can be today. And I know that if I do this, tomorrow and this coming week will be as fabulous as I dreamed.
It’s okay. I am okay. Life is okay. And today, that is as good as it gets.
The Yuppie Homesteader 