The sun is shining for the first time in over a week here and the sky is one of those brilliant blue mornings that fill the house and my heart with light. After winter’s return, it feels like spring is finally going to have its say. The weatherman predicts the next two weeks will be distinctly more spring-like than the past two weeks and with that passage of time, it’s unlikely that we can get the bitter cold or snow on the ground again. Yes, it feels like spring has finally arrived and with it comes my renewed sense of purpose.
It occurs to me that post-pandemic and The Great Resignation, there is a whole genre of people out there like me trying to learn how to live our own new “best life”. And while there is a tiny bit of shame attached to that – others are dealing with illness, job losses or other life-altering bad news – there is also a bit of pride of survivorship. To be in the pursuit of one’s best life can feel a bit privileged to be honest. Yet, what I know is that even when I was going through the hardest times of my life, the idea that I would pull myself out of it and go on to live a great life was always the goal. So, as much as there is this twinge of guilt, there is also an authenticity to living well. It is the reward I always promised myself. Today, with the sun shining, the last of the snow due to melt under the bright sunshine and a lifetime ahead of working for myself with less pressure and more autonomy, it’s time to revel in the now and the future.
But that begs the question, then. What is my best life?
For me, the best parts of life are rooted in simplicity and in a quiet, pastoral life. I love being a homemaker and I’m candidly quite proud that I do it well. I love making our house feel warm, comfortable and uniquely us. I also love the creativity of cooking and preserving food, the serenity that comes from a clean and calm house and the peace I get when I can make the outside feel inviting and an extension of our home. I love planning for dinners and celebrations with extended family members, weekend (or longer) getaways for the two of us and providing for our four furry ones as the best kitty momma I can be. I love our (fairly large) garden and even larger yard that is backed by our own small stand of woods. I love the idea that with more time I can now reconnect with my bestie, read a book and keep the house and my small little business chugging along.
It occurs to me that what I want today is a bit different than in my 20s and 30s, when I enjoyed the challenge of starting my career and then growing it. That was fun, exciting and very challenging. But now that I’m here in this quiet space, I am truly fulfilled in a way I haven’t experienced before. In the quiet, I have found a piece – and a peace – of myself that was just yearning for more.
Today feels like a great day to celebrate new life, just as in new spring, and to take a few minutes to share what I’m grateful for and what I’m most looking forward to. Mostly, I’m grateful for meeting my husband who is the love of my life and for building with him a life that is so amazing, both in its simplicity and its honesty. I’m grateful that even when the last thing we needed was another rescue, we received three more rescues courtesy of our backyard. Each one of them has brought so much to our lives. And finally, I’m grateful for the health of those I love so dearly. I have learned painfully not to take that for granted and I pray every night that it stays that way.
As for what I’m looking forward to, it starts with the seasons. As good weather approaches, each day builds on the day before. The weather gets warmer, the days get longer and more and more of a sleeping landscape comes to life. As it does, life seems to open up just like our backdoor and the windows on a bright and breezy sunny day. I look forward to the birds singing, the grass greening, the flowers blooming and the longer days with meals out on the deck, my not-so-famous “sun tea” brewing itself courtesy of Mother Nature and my clothesline being laden with freshly washed clothes. I’m also looking forward to some downtime this summer after what promises to be a somewhat chaotic spring. If all goes according to plan, I may be overwhelmed with work for the next two months but then work should drop off at about the same time that we finish our floors and doors upstairs. At that point, we will pivot to enjoying our garden and the outdoors. And finally, I look forward to getting back in shape. To avoid overwhelming myself, I’m allowing myself to focus solely on work and renovations at this time as well as some of the leisure pursuits that I can fit in. But as soon as work and renos slow, I want to get back in shape in a way that is sustainable and affirming.
It is a wonderful life, as I’m reminded that there is still not a single cloud in today’s sky. For the times I was so poor that I had $28 left to buy groceries for the week (back when you could survive on about $15-20 in cheap groceries) and for the times when either my own health or the health of someone I loved so dearly was threatened, this time feels like an honest celebration of my faith that things would get better. For the times I was so lonely, finding Darryl feels like the reward for all of that not-so-patient waiting and having the funny, sweet and playful furry ones just makes me happy. For the times when I had no house of my own, this house feels like such a rock of my existence.
I am content. More than being wildly happy or elated, I love this feeling. There is a simplicity and a quietness to contentment that feels hard won and amazingly restful all at the same time.
The Yuppie Homesteader 