On February 14th, I announced my independence… for March 14th, 2024. And in the five months since, life has gotten a whole lot better. Last night, my husband and I took an evening off. We had an early dinner, spent time with the furry ones and just reflected a bit. The fact that we could make time to simply was a victory. Normally, we’d have to pay for taking time for ourselves. Five months in and we may be just a little bit ahead. Finally.
Today, I pause again. This time for less than an hour and only to really take stock of where we are.
Everything I have worked for is thankfully coming true. I really find it hard to believe. More than that, I am so grateful that the impact is felt not just by me, but my husband, who admittedly still works a little more than full-time. All along, I believed that if I had time to just focus and plow through all of the projects at home, I could get our lives under control, particularly because we have largely finished renovations. Still, there was a huge bolus of work to get through and the outcome was more hopeful than probable. At the time that I actually left my job, we had made it as far as the last three feet in our bedroom laying hardwood floors. We still had the entire upstairs left to go. We also squeezed in a 10-year delayed honeymoon and had our two huge gardens to prepare and get planted. In addition, there was the backlog. Oh my goodness, the backlog.
The backlog were the small piles just about everywhere. The basement is still loaded with them, honestly. But upstairs had its own chaotic backlog: there was a collection of tools in one closet, then another. There were leftover boards in one nook downstairs, doors left to be installed in another. In between, there were the displaced objects. My Christmas supplies of wrapping paper, boxes and other accoutrement? Sitting in a laundry basket in our bedroom. My sewing machine? In the guest bedroom closet.
Finally, just as I had managed to wind down work to focus on home, it was also mowing season. In late April through May, we pretty much have to mow every 3-5 days just to keep a lid on the grass. The tractor-swallowing ditches out front had been filled in this past October, but who knew how much it would really save in mowing/trimming time?
It was clear that the whole project of getting our lives together was going to take several months. My goal? See where I was in a year. On March 14th, 2025, I would reflect. Just where were we? Was the house really done? Did the yard get maintained, the garden not allowed to wither and die? Were the “black holes” of tucked away supplies, building materials and ad hoc storage solutions cleaned up and cleaned out? I wanted to know and I promised myself that I wouldn’t measure day by day, lest I frustrate myself. Rather, at some point in the future, I’d pause, take a little stock and then keep moving forward to March 2025.
Yesterday, it became undeniable. Even with a fifth rescue, we are finally just the tiniest little bit ahead. I’ve actually thought that for awhile now but didn’t give voice to it. Then, two things happened to make me publicly acknowledge it. First, my husband said as much. Not that I always listen to him (😊), but he’s my barometer. He’s pretty cautious about how much we have left to do vs. how much is done so if he feels like we’re ahead, then we’re definitely in a good place. His thoughts? We had moved from crisis management awhile ago and had lingered at “just in time” management for awhile. For the past few months? He, too, has felt like we have started to pull ahead. The second reason I owned up? Well, it’s been long enough now where I’ve been afraid to voice that we’re getting ahead and it actually started to feel disingenuous not to admit it.
Now, part of my fear in acknowledging that we finally pulled ahead is that I’m afraid life will throw us a massive curveball, putting us behind again. In the past 10 years, any time – and I mean ANY time – we have pulled even, something happens and we’re flat on our backs again. Particularly after some very serious health scares for my family, there is a natural fear that if I have time to deal with a crisis, a crisis most certainly will happen.
But even with that fear, it’s time to move forward and embrace progress. Since March, we have largely finished the floors upstairs. The yard and garden are in fabulous shape and keeping them up hasn’t overwhelmed either our weekends or us. (The filled-in ditches were a HUGE benefit, by the way.) The new rescue was a whole new set of responsibilities, but it hasn’t thrown us underwater like it did when we rescued Doppers. Instead, we are farther ahead than we have ever been. The dailies (dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc.) continue to get done on time and the weeklies (lawnmowing, deep cleaning, etc.) are also caught up.
We have actually moved onto those future projects we always planned to do “one day.” Yesterday, I made 20 cups of chicken/duck stock from the bones frozen last year after making Turducken Gumbo. I also froze 13 small bags of peaches from our tree, making sure we had them to add to yogurt or to top a pancake or two. This past weekend, Darryl planted a second, late harvest crop. The weekend coming up? We may finally chop and stack that row of neatly stacked logs I’ve been mowing around for the past two years and get it into the woodshed.
On the personal front, I’m planning to get my hair done this week, go for lunch with a friend and take another friend to the airport to pick up her daughter. Of all of these? I would have made time for the airport drive, likely. Everything else was a luxury.
And that’s why progress became undeniable. I finally had to admit it: we are just the slightest bit ahead on life. With my work slated to slow down in early October, there is just the slimmest chance that I can get us in even better shape before the holidays. My goal? Practice the same relentless incrementalism I’ve been practicing upstairs in the basement. Right now, it overwhelms both of us and Darryl really just doesn’t have the time to deal with it. But a lot the work is simply organization. That just happens to be my strong suit. And then, there is the continued re-homing of items displaced in the renovations. On our project “to do” list, we are down to just 37 items from a list that topped out at 99. (And some of the remaining items are super small but I wanted the satisfaction of crossing them off of the list when they’re done.)
Finally, as I keep looking forward to next March, I have a new goal: be down to less than 10 items on the list. Ideally, it would be less than five, but that would be a stretch goal. Ultimately, I’ve come to acknowledge that there will always be “a list.” That’s okay. When your original list included projects like re-landscaping your front yard after six wells were drilled for the geothermal system, siding and roofing the house, build two new decks and renovate the entire house, a project list that has items such as clean out old paint in basement and change out the mailbox seem infinitely doable.
Five months and six days… we pulled ahead. This is us. Just a couple of crazy, happy-go-lucky kids without a care in the world. 😊
The Yuppie Homesteader 