My husband accuses me of spiking the ball too early. When I get to the point that I see my way clear of whatever problem, project, setbacks or set of tasks I need to do, I do tend to celebrate a little early. Genuinely, I know I’m going to make it, I know I’m on the downhill slide and I can reasonably take my foot off of the gas. So, I celebrate and – in his mind – spike the ball too early.
In truth, he is right to be cautious. I mean, I’m past the Lucy-Charlie-Brown stage where someone could totally rip the football out from under me but there is still a slight risk that something will happen to disrupt my newfound achievement. Still? Today, I’m spiking that ball.
Now, there are two reasons for me to celebrate. First, in the six months that I’ve been on my own, I’ve earned more than what I would have earned as an employed consultant. That’s reason one to celebrate. I hit the six-month mark and I haven’t gone backwards. Yes, it’s probably not the definitive proof of concept and I’ll need two years under my belt to be able to decide that, but I have completed that first critical phase of a business startup. Honestly, the next part is going to be hard as well – expanding my work beyond the original pent-up need – but I’m ready for it. Well, I’ll amend that: I’m ready for it after I take a break.
Then, there’s reason number two. Oh, glorious number two! Today, the projects that I’ve been working on pretty intensively since May have finally hit the tipping point. One of the projects was lagging and I dedicated all of my energies this week so far to catching it up. With the deadline approaching and now less than two weeks away, I wasn’t going to feel better until it was caught up. Know what? It’s caught up! Again, I’m spiking the ball. The projects are not yet complete but they’re almost there and candidly, nothing can derail them now.
And that means?
I’ve been waiting all summer for October. With the deadline for my projects on September 30th, October 1st beckons as a bright spot on my calendar. Not only is the garden done-ish and the yard has stopped growing like a weed, but work will slow wayyyyyy down. So now, I can plan for a few months of light work and lots of both family and me time. Whoo hoo! Just in time for me to really enjoy the holidays.
Honestly, I’m super stoked. I mean, not just a little bit here. It’s just about off-the-charts excitement for me. After a really, really tough five years that had more challenges than I will ever give voice to, I am literally 13 days away from three months of stress-free downtime. It seems largely unbelievable and maybe it is. There are certainly gremlins out there on the horizon that could disrupt my peace. But somehow, this time, I don’t think so. I think I actually made it.
Ummm, wow. Just wow.
Since today was the last of my really tough days, I can actually now start planning for the easy days. I’ve got a fairly self-indulgent dance card I want to put into play. It includes family and pet care stuff, for sure, but there’s also just a lot of personal pursuits I’m queuing up. I’m looking forward to reading more, joining a gym, writing my book (maybe), jigsaw puzzles, movie nights and even sneaking in those Hallmark Christmas movies, which are my own personal guilty pleasure. Mostly, I’m going to let my soul heal. And I need that. I really do. I need the freedom from fear, anxiety and stress that have plagued my path to simple peace. Don’t get me wrong – I know how absolutely lucky and privileged I am to have even gotten the chance for this kind of restoration and relaxation period and I will be forever grateful that I even got the chance. I also know that even in my times of extreme stress, I never faced financial burdens that would have exponentially added to the impact. But now? As much as I don’t deserve this period of rest by any stretch of the imagination, I need it and I am going to make the most of it.
As I make that corner and turn for home, though, I also know that I need to do a little soul prep. And that’s how I’m going to spend the rest of my today. It’s now time to let go, lean back and come undone. This is my new – very short – next chapter but it won’t end until early January. I made it. I truly did. I put in the work, self-started when it was the last thing I wanted to do, and denied myself as much as I could to get to this place. It’s mine. I own it. And all that’s left is to get my soul to truly accept that I’m finally here.
So, let’s do this thing, soul. Let’s embrace that it’s here. This is the first time in a long time when I neither need to look backward nor peek forward. I can just be in this moment and live presently. I’m sure old habits will kick in and I’ll either look back or forward. But for this moment, I’ve got this. I’m content right here and right now. It’s on, baby.
The Yuppie Homesteader 