It’s the hustle. It’s always the hustle. As I started this week, there were three areas of my life that needed help: my work pipeline was incredibly small, the house needed a good cleanup from being ignored as we finished renovations and my psyche was feeling a little bruised from it all. It felt a bit like I had been spinning my wheels without direction and without success.
Then, I went back to my tried-and-true: hustle. (And maybe a little project management.) It occurs to me that whenever I try to take a shortcut, do it an easier way, let “fate come to me” or any other course, it always comes back to the hustle. For example, the only way consultants fill their pipeline? Hustle. The only way the house gets cleaned up after so much chaos (albeit controlled)? Hustle. The only way I feel better about myself, even if there isn’t yet proof of my efforts? Hustle.
So, that’s what I did. Starting on Monday, I’ve systematically spent a few hours each day on business development. Additionally, I’ve had a list of domestic activities that I want to get done each day. It took a few days – yesterday was pretty bad, honestly – but I’m finally feeling a lot less bruised and even a little hopeful. Yep, it was the hustle.
Having said that, the hustle hasn’t yielded a lot of results yet. One small contract and a few nibbles, but as a seasoned consultant, I know that it takes some time to turn nibbles into ink signatures. On the homefront, there are some definite signs of improvement. Two more loads of laundry and I can finally feel caught up. Added to the other regular housework that’s gotten done and I can see my way clear of a messy/dirty house. The Christmas tree needs to go this weekend, though. I feel bad because she’s a majestic beauty, but in truth, we haven’t been enjoying her and I would love to reclaim that space.
But mostly? It’s about the mental. When work is slow and life at home feels a bit out of control, I don’t respond well. Two things happen: I start to feel useless and I worry about my financial security. Both become way overblown in my mind and even if cognitively I know that I have value and that we are fine financially, it’s hard to soothe that emotional response. Further, if I let it go on too long, I’ll feel despondent. I genuinely cannot let that happen. I’ve only been there a few times in my life and that feeling is low enough that I’ll work my backside off to never go there again.
A friend recently told me that she was proud of how driven I had always been and at the time, I was floored by that statement. I genuinely don’t consider myself driven. But today as I think about my use of the word “hustle” and what it means to me, I wonder if that’s what she was getting at. That what I see as hustling to get back to a good state she sees as driven. In truth, she’s probably right. While I fear the despondency that I would experience if I let things go on too long, it may be that I never give fate enough time to right the ship itself. But honestly? I can’t take that chance. Again, I just can’t ever go back there.
Anyway, I’m back to the hustle. Each day, I’m reaching out and letting folks know I’m available. I’m following up on leads. I’ve built some professional marketing materials. I’m getting myself out there and hopefully notices. And I’m systematically working my way through this house. It’s going to take a day or two yet before the house meets my standards, but we’re getting there.
In the meantime, my psyche is just the smallest bit smoothed over. I feel a bit more in control. Honestly, it will take a few more contracts coming in and a completely clean house before I feel like I’ve completely righted the ship, but at least I have direction now. That’s all because of the hustle. It’s always because of the hustle.
The Yuppie Homesteader 