Chasing wonder…

A friend recently commented about his typically wilder youth. My husband and I have the same tales. Driving too fast, trying something you should not, making an unwise decision to have fun rather than be serious at just the wrong time. Yep… we all have those stories. But somewhere around, let’s say, 40, the events that inspire those stories start to diminish considerably. At about 50? You’re telling the tales of your glory days only. By mid-fifties? Even those memories fade.

In one sense, I believe that’s why the tale of our trip to Antigua is so compelling to me. Yes, the Caribbean Sea was stunning and staying at the coolest little boutique resort was worth every penny as we relaxed as we had not done in a long time. But the magic? The wonder? It’s that we even went at all. And since we got back, I’ve been acutely missing that magic.

Now, that’s not to say we should or should not rebook that same trip, which we have talked about doing often. As much as I’d love to go back, that’s not what this post is all about. In fact, simply rebooking the trip – as much as I want to – wouldn’t recapture the wonder. Nope, the message here is more basic put perhaps more elusive: finding wonder is about plumbing the depths of your own unknown. And if we stop chasing wonder? We lose all sense of magic and life becomes a slog of to-do lists, deadlines, work objectives, mowing schedules and evening cocktails. But how, praytell, do you find wonder when life is seemingly no longer full of surprises?

In a very real sense, travel is a great way for older people like us to keep chasing wonder. Plus, it’s the easy way out. Book a trip, spend the months, weeks and days leading up to it daydreaming and you have replaced that incredible sense of wonder that leads to the best stories – both to tell and to relive. Plus, travel is a safe bet for those of us who are now risk averse. You pick out when you will go, where you will stay, what you will do and even what you will eat and drink. Outside of a major political upheaval at your destination spot and you can ensure that you will be safe. But honestly? I used to find wonder in discovering a four-leaf clover and in refinishing a piece of furniture. There have to be other less dramatic or expensive ways to rediscover our wonder, aren’t there? I mean, are we doomed to a somewhat pale life only to be brightened up as we pack our bags?

Today, I decided that I’m taking the week of Memorial Day off. While it will only be three business days for me, it will result in 10 straight days off. It’s the kind of staycation I typically did every year that I was working for an employer . It’s plenty of time for what I intend to do: clean up and mulch gardens, get rid of all of our excess stuff that clutters up our corners, power wash our decks, do some touch-up painting all around the house and throw my niece’s baby shower. The whole idea of the week is to get some breathing room to eschew my day job and focus a little bit on getting things set up for the summer. But now? Well, I’m hoping it also gives me a little time to actually think about ways to reestablish some wonder in my life.

Do I know what it is yet? Nope. It may very well be planning a new trip. Once we get our deck done, it will be the last major project for a long while (at least that we do) and there will be time to think about things like trips. It may be figuring out a new pursuit that I haven’t tried before, athletic, spiritual or academic. It may not be anything I can think of right now. But the question of pursuing wonder is not lost on me. My friend’s comments, my own musings and this place we are have made me realize that I can’t just bury the thought of chasing wonder in the bottom of the laundry pile where you never quite get to. Somehow, chasing wonder deserves another chance. I just have to be brave enough, wise enough and still adventurous enough to actually pursue it.