Today marks week seven of the deck project. Week one was disassembly; weeks 2-6 were piers. Today, the first above-ground work begins. We still have one more digging project to go – we have to dig out for the cement pad which will serve as the landing for the stairs – and that will also happen this weekend. But after that? Everything else should be above-ground and, more importantly, we should only have another week or so until we get to actually decking the deck… i.e., the glory lap.
It feels like this week will tip us over the halfway point of the deck and, more than that, get us to more visible progress each week. That should also improve project attitudes. (Just sayin’… 😊)
Meanwhile, the conversations around here are turning more and more to life after renovations. For both of us, the reality that we could soon be living so differently is really powerful. More than that, it’s interesting to see how in sync we are with what we want moving forward. Simply put: we want many variations on one theme: a calm life.
For me, the end of this project also signals the end of our lost summer. It was a summer filled with lots of work, lots of progress and little downtime. But summer generally also tends to be chaotic. Candidly, that’s just how summer rolls in the northeast. After a full winter of snow and being indoors and springs that are typically less than inspiring, summers are the blow-the-doors-off-and-let-it-all-hang-out-season anyway, even if we aren’t working on projects. So invariably, I hit my summer slide. That’s when things get a little sideways inside, things just don’t get put away like I prefer and everything just, well, slips a little bit. Then, fall happens. And one thing about fall is that it’s always a good time to deep clean, put things away and get your life back into shape. So, when I think of the end of this project coinciding with fall, the first thing I think about is the opportunity to clean up and calm down. I can just imagine life when there are no “tool buckets” sitting just inside the door, an extra mat for work shoes, and deck furniture askew in the yard waiting to be placed on the currently non-existent deck. For me, clean and tidy equals calm and relaxing. I can’t wait to get there.
But for both of us, there is a bigger question at play than just what does a clean house look like. What does life look like? Yes, we agree on “calm”, but how does that manifest itself?
In a way, the scenarios we envision are all variations of a theme: a release of the pressure valve of home renovations. For both of us, the idea that we can give ourselves free weekends and evenings is a gift of time. Added to that, the concepts that we are not saving for another project and that we have a little freedom to pursue our own interests again are, well, a bit heady. We talk about the simple: making homemade pizza on Friday night together, going for late fall hikes on a Saturday, having time to read a book and doing a small project just because it interests us.
But then, we talk about the big things… the things that will truly be transformational. After years of renovations and pet adoptions and professional challenges galore, we will have time for a social life again and it’s time to hopefully rebuild friendships and make new. After years of eschewing vacations in favor of using time off and savings for projects, the idea of taking a trip we plan together seems downright luxurious. And maybe the biggest of all? Adjusting to a less obligation-dominated life. For the first time in a long time, we can design our new chapter without slotting in a significant chunk for home improvements.
It goes without saying that I think we are both pretty excited for this. When we were hip-deep in piers, it was something we would avoid talking about because digging was so miserable and we couldn’t lose focus on the work at hand. But now that the work is admittedly a bit easier? Yep, it comes up – about every other night. 😊 Genuinely, the idea that life will really slow down is something we have talked about since before we got married. Now? We are both truly committed to the idea. And thanks to our great aforethought in getting ahead on many of our outdoor projects before we started the deck, it also means that we are in pretty great shape for life to slow down when the last nail (or screw) is placed.
In the end, it may take a few months but I will be happy that we did all of the work we did. The house turned out amazing. Genuinely, I wouldn’t change a thing. It really is everything I wanted. It feels sturdy and warm but modern and functional. It is my vision of a modern cabin in the woods. With the decks done, we will also have that indoor/outdoor link that will allow us to do the one thing we love, which is be outdoors as much as possible. We also built for our future by ensuring that we will never have to do the infrastructure projects again in our lifetime and the choices we made aesthetically are classic and enduring.
Yet, it was so much work. There is just a pang of regret over so much time lost working. And there is a fatigue that has set in that has seeded just the smallest bit of resentment towards the house. That part is going to have to heal and scab over. Still, once it does, I do believe we will be well and wholly satisfied with what we achieved.
In May, we finally realized that enough was truly enough. That by pushing ourselves so hard and for so long, we had to finally choose us and our lives over a structure that would never be done, if we let it. All along, we knew the deck had to be done and that while it was still structurally safe, it wouldn’t be for much longer. So, we made a deal with ourselves: do the deck and then hang up the tools for a year. Everything that was left on the list was either for a contractor to do or a punch-list type of item. Those could all wait while we recovered. Then, after a year (or more, if needed), we could retackle the list but then only on an “as-wanted” basis. No pressure, no deadlines and no big projects. In future, our lives would be first and home improvement would rank second.
Ultimately, I think that decision will prove not just to be prophetic, but life-changing. I often wonder if we didn’t have to get this exhausted before we would finally give up the ghost and that the idea of “finishing” was somewhat an ethereal pursuit – that no house is ever “done done”. In the end, I guess it doesn’t matter if it was exhaustion or a realization that you will always find something more to do if you chase the HGTV version of life. What matters most is that we did, ultimately, choose us. I can’t even begin to describe how grateful I am.
The Yuppie Homesteader 