“THAT” point

So, there comes a point in every project where you’ve reached the point of no return but you are clearly just over it. If it’s a small project, you barely notice. Candidly, a project that takes mere hours or a few days just doesn’t have the opportunity for a very long period of regret. But if it’s a 14-16 week project? That period of regret can be a killer. Guess where we are? We are THERE. At THAT point. The emphasis – and the agony – are real.

Now, if I take a step back, I recognize a few very important things. First, there’s no going back. We have to keep moving forward. Plus, the weather is not going to get better anytime soon. So guess what? We can’t “take a break” and expect that the weather will hold out for us. Honestly, quitting isn’t really an option, either. While we are both tired, extremely frustrated and a bit overwhelmed, the truth is that the only way out is through. We just have to keep pushing.

The second thing I recognize is that both partner selection and pace are vital. My husband and I work very well on projects together. We fall into a rhythm that works well. We rarely have that tug-and-pull that you can get in a project. That’s huge right now. Because as overwhelmed and frustrated as we both are, we don’t take it out on each other and that is allowing us to move forward with as much good will as possible. The missing element, though, to a smooth and happy project? Pace. We’ve been pushing ourselves pretty hard. Two things have conspired to make that happen. First, good weather. The old adage of “you’ve got to make hay while the sun shines” holds true. While we have sunshine and can make progress, we are out there working. It’s the only way the project gets done, particularly due to the timing. We’ve had wall-to-wall sunny weekends for the past seven weekends. There is rain in the forecast this weekend and I’ll be self-honest to admit that we probably need that rain in more ways than one. Still, we can’t afford a complete rainout. One day max or we will be climbing the walls.

The final thing I recognized? Well, sometimes the experience really does have to be bad enough that you never want to do it again. Genuinely, we are both pretty well-skilled when it comes to home improvement. Plus, we have a slew of tools, including just about two of every saw ever made and enough nail guns, compressors, drills, drivers, etc., to mean that doing a project is really merely an investment in raw materials, not infrastructure. That leads to what I like to refer to as a “dream it, do it” philosophy. Oooh, we wanna new bathroom? We can do that. How about redesigning our main closet to be a custom built-in? Sure, sounds fabulous. The problem here? Everything has a cost and the cost has been an overcommitment of our time, particularly our weekends. We may not have used cash capital but we have used all of the human capital we could. At the most gut-level honest I can be, I think it finally had to be too much for too long to ever break the cycle. Projects were already becoming just the tiniest bit aversive before this, but now? I can confidently say they are seriously aversive. Good for us. We needed something to stop us from ourselves.

In all honesty, we still have a LOT to do on this project. I’d say we are about halfway done, but it doesn’t necessarily feel like much yet. We have 10 cement discs in the ground, belying the four feet of pier that lies underneath each disc. We have one huge monolith of a landing pad in the ground which is what we needed to do to have attached stairs. That thing is not heaving in a frost. Yet, what is left? All of the framing, which includes posts, beams, rim joists and floor joists. Then, we can move onto decking, which will mean tying in the old deck on the side. That also means cleaning – and hopefully avoiding – flipping the old deck boards.

Here’s the deal, though: I keep thinking that if we get past the upcoming weekend worth of work, we will feel better about the project. On Sunday night, we do. By Monday morning? The fatigue and the enormity of what is left to do kicks in. So my thoughts for this weekend? If we get the posts and beams in as well as the rim joists, I’ll be satisfied and feeling good. Truth? I won’t. By Monday morning, I’ll be looking ahead to say that if we get the floor joists in and the deck cleaned the following weekend, I’ll be satisfied. The fact is, it’s a cycle and I fear it’s a cycle that had to get so bad that we recognize that the only way to never feel like this again is to simply stop. It’s not just good – it’s good enough.

Thankfully, our stopping point actually does come at the end of the work. Yes, there is a punch list of just less than 30 small projects still to do. (and literally, the items are small enough like “clean basement,” “take care of aluminum recycling,” “take care of other metal recylcling”.) Yes, we will get to them. No, we won’t create a “homeowner’s special”. All finishing touches will be done. But give us a year from November. When the deck is done, my hubby’s roof in his office is fixed and the tools are put away. This time, we actually need to heal from the stress of projects..

And the next time I get a brilliant idea about what we could do? I’m going to force myself to remember this moment and how bad it was. There is a saying that knowledge comes from experience. Let’s just say, we’re experienced.