Is this normal?

Today, I was able to do some significant quiet work for two clients. Then, I wrapped up my day at 4:37 p.m. In the meantime, the laundry is still caught up, the house is still picked up and I spent a little of my so-called lunch hour cleaning up the kitchen. I was also a good kitty mom today and all of the furries got attention. Now? It’s 6:06 p.m. The house is calm. Dinner is another night of leftovers and there’s not much for me to do but relax. And ask myself: is this normal?

It’s only the third day of our post-renovation life. The first day was all about cleaning up and while that felt incredibly satisfying, it was also a hugely “opportunity rich” environment, if you get my drift. The second day was Monday (and I got through it, but I was woefully unmotivated). Today? Hmmm… it’s starting to sink in that I don’t need to run to the home improvement store to get supplies or I don’t need to finish cleaning up last weekend’s work so we can start this weekend’s work or I don’t need to get caught up on regular life tasks because we worked until 6 or 7 p.m. on a Sunday to “get one last thing done” on a project.

Nope. Don’t have to do that anymore.

Again, I ask: is this normal? Dear God, I hope it is.

For the first time in about forever and a day, I feel like I can keep pace with life. I don’t have to gear up for anything or clean up from anything else. I am not robbing professional Peter to pay home renovator Paul – or vice versa. I’m a normal human. (Okay, as normal as I’m going to get.) And you know what I’ve already noticed? I could get used to this.

Very slowly, I can feel myself letting go a bit. I honestly didn’t realize I was holding on this tight. And yet, I bare-knuckled through the last of these renovations with everything I had. Here in the slow lane? Hmmm… I’m turning on the flameless candles at night, going through and picking up the house during the day and I even did yoga this morning. This evening, my hubby and I went for a short walk as he’s nursing a cold. Life is definitely more slow. My biggest fear is keeping it that way.

On the horizon, I have a couple of work trips that will disrupt my newfound calm life. Yet now that I actually have time to think again, I’m truly hoping that even those trips aren’t the chaos creators that they used to be. Already we have frozen meals that my hubby can make when I’m gone – and that puts me light years of where I used to be. I also did a good job of booking flights to reduce both nighttime driving and stress on the trip itself. Finally, I have social plans for each of the trips which will reduce the feeling of being immersed in a work bubble, which always seems to raise my stress level.

As I sat down to write this missive, I thought about what I wanted to say, but in a way, it’s really like a Seinfeld episode and about nothing. For once, it is about nothing. I am not on the cusp of anything. I don’t have to change, grow, fix, muddle through or do anything. I can just be. I thought about creating a new exercise plan to help with my fitness, but I was able to walk 25 miles around the Universal Studios parks in Florida without batting an eye. I thought about homemaking or personal improvement activities I could engage in, but I’m pretty complete right now. Even if I wanted to, work for consultants slows down in October through the end of the year, so there’s no sense in hustling professionally. I’ve got nothing. No expectations. No unfinished tasks. No dangling “whatevers” out there.

And ultimately, that’s what this post is about: letting it go and letting it be. Right now, I’m truly enough and life is truly in control. I don’t need to go searching for a repair project. Instead – and for once – I can let it be. I’m not sure how good I will be at that, but I’m going to try.

Really, though. Is this normal?