Tomorrow, I fly to Maine for a two-day stint. When I get home on Friday night, the girls leave on Saturday. Today is my last full day with them. Honestly, its going to hurt so badly to give them up. My heart is going to crack into 1000 pieces. And yet, they are going to a loving home where they can live a better life than they would have here. Here, they would be 6th and 7th in line. There? They’re 3rd and 4th. They will be adored and their new parents even have a kitty tent they will use to help socialize them with their brothers and they will get their own stocking at Christmas. All in all, not bad for two starving, dehydrated, sick and parasite-infected 2-pounders I found on the side of the road. They are queued up for an amazing life and they now have the clean bill of health to enjoy it.
That is what I did this for and what I wanted all along. I knew when I rescued them I couldn’t keep them. I knew when I drove then-Salty, now-Mira up to the kitty emergency room that I just wanted them to be healthy and in a good home. But rescuing and fostering? It’s not for the faint of heart. There is a piece of your heart that goes with each and every one of them.
Today, I’m in that awkward place where I want them to have gone so I can begin the healing process and I want time to stand still so I don’t have to say goodbye. I’m literally trying to get every minute I can with them today. It hurts. And now I have tears in my eyes. But rather than cry for my loss, I want to tell their story – not of rescue or survival – but of renewal and being the sweetest little fosters ever.
Their renewal story doesn’t start with vet visits. Instead, it starts with the first time I saw them playing. At first, it was Mira playing and then-Peppercorn, now-Violet watching carefully from the sidelines. It was clear that Violet, who had had the harder rescue was also still not feeling well. But I’ll never forget the sight of Mira’s awkward little sideways hop toward Violet. That was adorable, particularly as they were still both pretty malnourished and didn’t have great muscle control at the time. (We still had them with access to a thermostat controlled heated blanket as they couldn’t regulate their own warmth.)
Then, of course, Violet recovered and Mira got more sick. So, it was Violet doing the light play and Mira would somewhat lethargically sleep. So, off to the emergency vet we went.
The next day was the first “good day”, though we feared to believe it. Both Mira and Violet played, ate, used the potty and seemed to sleep more contentedly. I remember telling my husband, “She duped me before. (Mira) has to give me another good 24 hours before I believe it.”
Since then? It’s been nothing but downhill skiing for these girls. They play hard, cuddle together and eat up a storm. They’re fun to watch as they chase each other around the room. While Violet is more often the aggressor, Mira is no innocent bystander. They have also grown accustomed to their new life. When you think that a mere two weeks ago they didn’t know humans or the inside of a house, they now have sleeping spots, favorite toys and both love a good belly rub. They’ve met our sweet Dash and Mira will take the lead, walking right over to him and rubbing up against him and sniffing his face. Sweet Dash takes it in stride and sniffs right back. He really is a cat’s cat.
In all, the girls have enriched our lives so much. We were definitely too busy for them – we still haven’t finished the repair on my husband’s ceiling – and we weren’t emotionally prepared to bring two rescues into the house. But do I regret it? As much as it hurts, I could never regret it. They have given us moments of pure joy, moments of sweet tender love and moments of quiet snuggles that will forever warm my heart. I’ll never forget their play or my own joy when I discovered that they had conquered not just level two of the cat structure but level three. I’ll always remember how sweet it was to see them put their paws up on the windowsill and look outside at a frozen world they no longer need to navigate or to walk in and have Mira greet me at the door or Violet look at me from her perch on the green pillow.
These girls were mine to love for awhile and I love – and loved – them with my whole heart. Outside of food, water, shelter and medicine, they needed love to get healthy and they needed their second “mom”. I was it and I’m proud and privileged to have been her for them. But, they also need a permanent mom. A mom who is so excited for them. A mom who loves animals and can’t want to bring these two babies into their family. And so, while I hope a teeny tiny part of them always remembers me for the love (and not just the capture, the vet trips or the enforced medicine), I’m actually at great peace over giving them over and knowing that they will get to love their mom with their whole heart. They deserve that and their new mom deserves that.
This is a love story and one of the most beautiful I’ve ever lived. Right now, little Violet is sleeping on the cat structure, breadsticks out and over the edge while sweet Mira looks at me from beside her with both eyes wide open and gives me the tiniest look of trust. I love you, girls. I always will. Now, be happy, be healthy and be so full of love.
The Yuppie Homesteader 