So, I’m my family’s CFE. It’s a self-appointed role and I’ll be honest, no other humans were interested. (One of the cats was, but he makes horrible decisions. He is “responsible for self only.” 😊) Anyway, as CFE, I have a number of my own self-appointed responsibilities. There’s the typical – housekeeping, groceries, dinner – and then there’s the less-than-everyday tasks. Those include cash management, financial planning and forecasting. Quite honestly, this house doesn’t run without either.
Now, that’s not to take anything away from my hubby. He’s got his own set of routine tasks – compost, garbage, garden – as well as his own set of less-than-everyday tasks. Those include transportation management, physical plant maintenance and engineer/general contractor on all of our projects.
Together, we do animal welfare, human welfare, entertainment and strategy. After over a decade of marriage, neither strays all that often into the others’ role. It’s not that we couldn’t – we simply don’t want to. We ended up dividing things based on our interests and our skills. Where we do cross over? Hmmm… he’s our gumbo maker (and a fine one at that) and I’m the mow master (which is also the name of a local IPA beer).
Still, the entire system works for us. We both get a way to make meaningful contributions to the family and we both get “spotted” on the things we don’t necessarily like to do. In the give-and-take balance of marriage, this is where we ended up.
But as a CFE who is working outside of the house one day per week, I have to admit that I’m feeling the squeeze. That whole “what’s for dinner” is one of the biggest drags, honestly. But that got me thinking… Coming off of a long, very busy weekend, how does the CFE typically get this little household back to calm, quiet and peaceful? After all, isn’t that a big part of my job?
Getting back to good, as I call it, really doesn’t have to be that difficult. Part of it is built in anyway. Mondays are always a day where I’m generally just cleaning up from the weekend. The other pieces? They’re not so hard either. Outside of taking care of the routine and dinner is nearly prepped for this evening, it’s really about slowing the pace around here. There is no fire and no one is in danger.
That’s where my head is today. Ever since I took this interim gig, I’ve been on high alert. I find that it takes so much brain space that my Mondays turn into a full workday. Since I’m physically in the office on Tuesday, it means that it isn’t until Wednesday when I start to unwind. By that time, the house has gotten a little sideways, the lawn needs mowed and I could probably catch up on both groceries and laundry. My rule of thumb? At least two days at home and I bring it back together. By EOD Thursday, I like things to be calming down going into the weekend on Friday. Still, for someone who is only supposed to work 10-12 hours a week, it definitely feels like I’m working 30-ish hours.
So, as CFE, what am I going to do about it?
Well, first I need to let go. One of the things I tend to do is leave email open. All the time. All. The. Time. I just forced myself to close email. I’m not going to “let go” with my email open.
Next up? Well, I need to shut down my computer. I’ve literally been on it since 7 a.m. Since it’s 1 p.m. now, you get the picture. I’ve literally already worked about six hours today. Time to pivot back home (though I do have a 3 p.m.)
Finally, get my head right. As soon as I finish the missive, I’ll post it and shut down the computer. Then, I’ll finish prepping dinner, which will take less than five minutes. After that? I’m going quiet. Maybe I’ll read a book; maybe I’ll sit and daydream; maybe I’ll pick up any clutter (which has an odd way of soothing me). Whatever I do, it will be focused on home and family. Honestly, for someone who is so desperate to just be a homemaker, I spend an awful lot of brain space on anything but work.
So, here I go. In all honesty, I already feel better. I feel more focused and more calm. So, I’m casting aside editing and just posting this baby. Then, I’m shutting down. I have a little less than two hours until my next call and I plan on enjoying it.
The Yuppie Homesteader 