While I’m absolutely loving my new life’s concept, I’m struggling to get there. Sound complicated? Welcome to how I make everything complicated. It’s what I do. Put more simply, I love the whole idea that my new life will be a more calm and quiet existence. Getting past the litany of “to-do” tasks is standing in my way. Mostly, I’ve felt rushed in the whole push to get us to our next best life.
Until… .
Well, I roll into this week in okay-ish shape. Those things I deemed pressing are done, mainly sealing the Adirondack chairs and preserving garden yields. I could always vacuum and let’s be honest, this summer I could always mow. (We did not get the long, super dry days that August is known for.) Tomatoes will continue to come in and need processing, but so far, two-thirds of the regular potatoes are done, all of the garlic and onions are done, some of the peppers and all of the first round of carrots and beets are done. In the “grow enough for two years” era that is this garden, we are doing well. (So far. It’s a garden, it can always go south.)
My point here is that I’m rolling into this week with enough accomplished that I can do the one thing I didn’t think I’d be able to do: go quiet. I’m taking a break just for a week but I need that. Honestly, this whole family needs that. One week where Momma isn’t losing her head cleaning, mowing, and somehow trying to prove she’s enough by doing everything she can.
Instead, this week will be a little bit about putting my own oxygen mask on first. I’m going to gratefully invite the quiet in and just let it sit for awhile. My to-do list for this week is one day of work on-site before I permanently come home. Here, I’ll plan meals, grocery shop, cook, clean and, ultimately, mow. I’ll hang laundry, paint the one board I need for the living room, cut and install it. I’ll take care of more tomatoes and likely process some celery. And every day it doesn’t rain, I’ll take my boys outside.
But that’s largely it for to-do lists. My other goals are so much more quiet. I’ll read. I will go for a walk. I may just break out a jigsaw puzzle. My focus will be on slowing down my own life, which ultimately seems to give the other heartbeats in this house the permission to slow theirs down, too. And long-term, that’s the goal. Beyond this week, there is a life to build for all of us.
Every year, I look forward to when the garden goes fallow. By that time, we will have spent most of our summer and fall outside, scrambling to keep up with Mother Nature. Between taking care of leaves, getting firewood in and getting the last of the garden produce, it was overwhelming. Particularly when we were both working so hard. In mid-October, when we could finally shut it all down and the mowing also stopped, it was a welcome relief. I don’t doubt that it will feel like that again, particularly for my husband.
But for me? Once I get the pressure of work off of my back, I’m looking forward to these particular rituals. I generally don’t mind taking care of leaves and I enjoy all of the harvests. Doing firewood is actually excellent exercise. As for mowing? Well, I’m over it. There was no relief this summer when the grass stopped growing so fast, but with colder days ahead, it will eventually stop growing.
But my challenge will be an interesting one. Beyond just taking care of our outdoor tasks and keeping a lid on home, I need to bring this whole family into the Quiet Zone with me. That’s tough when my husband works a little more than full-time and he’s our chief wood getter and garden whisperer. Yet, I think I’ve got this. I genuinely think I can make our lives slow down to the pace we always dreamed about “after the wedding.” (Two trips in September may not help with that, though.)
How do I do that? Oh, that’s simple: I keep our free time uncluttered. While he’s working, I can do my work. I can make all of the easiness happen when he’s shut upstairs in his office with his headphones on. My goal is to become that non-distraction. Before, I was so eager to prove that this was good for both of us that I kept doing that “Look At Me” dance. Now? Nope. Not gonna dance. Gonna do it quietly, unobtrusively, and almost serenely.
And who benefits? Oh goodness, all of us. My soul craves quiet and since I’m the noisiest thing in this house, I’ll get it. His soul needs to feel like we aren’t falling behind in life due to work pressures or his training schedule. And my tiny little furry heartbeats need the calm, quiet life they enjoy most.
I can do this. And I believe I can do it super well. The two trips are a hiccup in-between now and when I hope to see real results. (I’m giving myself until mid-October for everyone to notice how calm our life has become.) But that’s okay. It’s a challenge I look forward to solving. I can do that, too.
Going quiet and giving us a season – at least – of simple peace is honestly a fairly lofty goal. Yet, I got this. For someone who used to love the challenge of financial turnarounds, reorganizations and unruly organizations, this challenge feels almost as daunting as those. But the reward here? Amazing for all of us. It will become the life we’ve all wanted to lead with enough capacity and calm to allow each person to pursue their own personal goals while keeping our family and our lives at the center of what we do.
I’m genuinely excited for this. And it starts today. Life is about to get so good.
The Yuppie Homesteader 