So yesterday’s blog was entitled, “The view from here.” It seems only fitting that today’s post is titled, “From here on…” And it’s not just the titles that matter here. The thoughts encapsulated today are truly an extension of yesterday’s thoughts.
If my pursuit of simple peace was a somewhat solitary endeavor, my somewhat redefined goal of a simple and peaceful household is more of a family one. But just like simple peace resonated deep into my soul, so does a simple and peaceful household. Truth be told, it feels right in a way that few things ever do.
Growing up, home felt incredibly carefree. As a kid, you don’t necessarily “see” how the sausage gets made. Instead, you just see the perhaps not-so-perfect cooked sausage. I was incredibly lucky to have had an amazing mother. She understood kids and her role as mom like few ever have. She knew we thrived in a calm environment and with routine. She created that every day. The house was always spotless. A homemade dinner was always on the table, typically around 5:30 p.m. Her kids had key family meal roles to either set the table, dry the hand-washed dishes or load the dishwasher. Evenings were the best. Homework was done immediately after school before going out to play. Once the onerous chores of drying the few hand-washed dishes or loading the dishwasher were done (whatever turn you had), we switched into family time. The “good” TV came on at 8 p.m. and even if bedtime was at nine, Mom made the time carefree.
It wasn’t unusual that when you got home from school, Mom would have baked something that day or, once we got old enough to be responsible for cleaning our own rooms, she would have done it for us because she was putting clean sheets on the bed anyway and she couldn’t stand the mess. Whatever it was, we understood one thing: home was the center of our world and Mom managed it beautifully.
From here on, that’s what I want for our house. Calm, quiet, routine… a sense that home is carefree even if there are tasks to be done. Home is where you are safe. Where you are always loved. Where you are always a part of something and where you can always take a break from the world. My obsessions with mowing and cleaning aren’t really about the tasks. Instead, they are about the way home feels when those tasks are done. I’ll be honest: I can’t stand clutter or disorganization. I crave soft table lamps in the evening over bright overhead lights. I want every heartbeat – human or feline – to have the chance to have their pulse settle and their thoughts rest.
I get there by modelling Mom. I’m already a bit fixated on the cleaning and homemade meals part. Up until now, though, that had to get squeezed in around work. In the future? Not so. Work can slot itself (mostly) within my routines of home. Evenings will be settled and off limits for anything but family time. Days will be designed so that when my husband descends the stairs from his office (hopefully around 5-ish), the house is clean and calm, dinner is prepped and the world is quiet again. I want routine to rule the day and to become predictable. All of the heartbeats in this house thrive with predictability. And I want to create enough space in our lives that the humans get that oh-so-elusive “down time” that others talk about.
As we move forward from here, I do believe that life will get so much easier. It was our main goal after our wedding all of those years ago. Busy careers, renovations, rescues, intermittent travel and big gardens didn’t necessarily combine to give us that peaceful life we both so desired. We both got – and are – tired. But now? We have a path forward. Simply removing one of the two busy careers and renovations and our life slows considerably.
Every night the past few days, I’ve had “that feeling”. It’s the one I used to have naturally every day as a kid growing up. Last night, after the craziness that was our work days, combined with a vet visit, an unexpected bank trip and laundry/packing, I still got that feeling. At a certain point, we sat down and had a single glass of wine. We talked about how crazy our day got but that we were relieved we had made it the spot we were in at that moment. Then, I set up the football game and we did what we never do: took our dinners to sit in front of the TV and watch the game. It isn’t ideal for gustatory appreciation, but it was ideal for total relaxation.
And that’s the whole point. Moving on, my focus will be on creating that every night so it becomes routine and expected. We will still work hard and have “firewood weekends” or massive leaf cleanup days. There will still be 10-12 inches of snow overnight to clear. There will still be rocks in the yard in spring, garden rows to prep and the occasional work trip. But those will become non-events in a life that is sturdy, calm and home-focused.
From here on out? We relive my past.
The Yuppie Homesteader 