At this time of the year, there are just some spectacular mornings. With sunrise at about 5:30 a.m., the morning light can be amazing. Because we live so close to the river, on a perfect day the sun can rise, highlighting a layer of fog off in the distance. Above it, the green hills in the distance framed by a beautifully blue sky. Below, the second crop of the farmer’s hay field is beginning to grow after last week’s cutting. It’s hard on a morning like this to not believe everything is okay in the world.
Yet, there are some bumps on the horizon. Most notably, I’ve experienced a work slowdown and it’s triggered my fear about my own expiration date. With my aging experience, it is time to consider if it’s time to make a not-so-graceful exit out of the professional track. I wanted to go out on my own terms, but I’m wondering if perhaps I ought to rethink those “terms”.
Right now, I have a small amount of lingering work. Not enough to keep me busy but enough to allow me to make a small contribution to our family. In the back of my head, I continue to hear the same recurring phrase: “It’s time to finish your book.”
Genuinely, my husband and I have talked about this. If there was ever a time to reinvent myself, it’s now. In fact, it may be the golden opportunity similar to the golden sunrise I just experienced: as close to perfect as I’m going to get. My husband’s salary can certainly support us and with renovations complete for now, we can live on a much smaller scale. The summer is a busy time for our garden but that work is going to wane soon. And while I fear that being out of the workforce for any amount of time is going to minimize my relevance even further, a few months are not going to make a difference. In fact, there has never been a “safer” time to finish my book. With the advent of self-publishing and the ability to easily purchase editing and book cover services, perhaps the stars have aligned?
I’m giving myself this week to think about it. If I do this, it will take me up to two months to finish the book and another month to finish editing. In the meantime, I can continue to do business development and the little bit of billable work I have to support our family.
But here’s the question I find myself asking again and again: when do you ever take a leap of faith? It’s a question I think we should all ask ourselves. Believe me, I’m the biggest responsibility junkie I know. I built a career not necessarily striving for success but instead to prove I was a hard worker. In fact, that’s likely the best compliment you could give me. Yet, for once, I want to break into a run, shut my eyes and just leap.
It’s three months. I’ll still try and find regular, paying work at the same time. The gamble is relatively small in terms of lost professional time. Do I do it? Tell me, would you?
The Yuppie Homesteader 