So, it’s not officially forever and I’m not sure it will stick, but at this point, I’m giving myself the month of June to relax. Why? Well, because I can. And because I’m not really missing out on work if I do. In a sense, I’m treating it as a retirement “dry run.” And you know what?
I am busy!
I mean, genuinely busy every day and keeping up with stuff but not getting so far ahead that I have a completely blank day. So far, this week has been a blur. Between my normal housekeeping and yard maintenance, garden stuff, pet care, grocery shopping, cooking and a few special projects thrown in, my days are full. Genuinely and truly full. It’s a lot and I constantly ask myself how I did all of this AND kept working. The truth is I didn’t do it so well. Now that I’m doing so much at home, I tend to think I was phoning it in for over a decade around here. 😊
Since my June retirement dry run is essentially a continuation of my May dry run, I also wanted to take a few moments and take stock of what the experience has been like. While generally all very good, here’s what I’ve learned so far:
SPRINGTIME IS BUSY! That’s first, obviously. But it was incredibly helpful that I wasn’t so busy this spring because the garden went in on time with plants that were well-cared for. Further, we exercised all of those gardening best practices we sometimes skip, including using good row preparation, irrigation lines and compostable row cover. I’ve screened wheelbarrows upon wheelbarrows of fresh dirt to get out all of the rocks and make it truly sand-like for tender young roots. I do my “Tater Tally” every day, walking all of the garden rows to make sure that everything is doing okay and troubleshooting what isn’t. That’s been huge as yesterday I spotted a problem I was able to fix before it did any damage to our tomatoes.
LIFE IS BETTER FOR BOTH OF US. That’s also a given, honestly. My husband just jumped up from his desk in a mini-panic about his Mom’s birthday card. Already purchased and ready to be sent. You’re welcome. 😊 It’s these kind of little things, though that matter. And there are many of them. He was convinced we forgot to pay the insurance on our mini backhoe/front loader; I knew it was paid. He didn’t know what he’d done with the pins for the irrigation system; I knew they were in a bucket in the tractor shed waiting for their next use. He needed food to have a former colleague over for lunch today. Food is here and in the fridge, including a homemade strawberry pie. It’s those little details that are smoothing the path for him that makes me not working a little more worth it.
AS FOR ME, LIFE IS GOOD. While I am a bit obsessed (guilty feelings, anyone?) that I make my retirement dry run good for my husband, I have to say that the majority of the benefit falls to me. I am truly loving my days. I’m sleeping better and when I’m not, I’m not worried about it. I’ve got time to do little things such as giving my sister a workday so we can get her garage set up. I’m making time to write and I’m making time to just live more slowly and breathe a little easier. Honestly, this is so fabulous that I can’t even begin to describe how good it feels. Just know that I love it.
THE KITTIES ARE EVEN BETTER: I would like to think that I’m making a good impact for everyone. Today, my niece needs some Mason jars for a shower she’s doing this weekend. Not only do I literally have hundreds of them, I’ve also got the time to run them up to her as I’m also running my sister’s shed keys up to her. (She left them in my vehicle.) Everyone and every heartbeat is getting a little more of me. No where is it felt more than with my husband but there is another group of heartbeats that are getting a true benefit as well: the itty bitty kitty parade. My four furry friends are getting outside time nearly every day; two with radio tracking collars where I also watch their movements and make sure they stay in the yard. The other two have a harness and a modified “ribbon” leash which they run around the yard with. The leash is one of those cat retractable leashes with the handle taken off. It’s light enough for them to drag it behind them when I let go and it’s easy enough for me to hold it and them to not feel so restricted. Still, they’re not trustworthy – as they’ve demonstrated multiple times – so they need a leash.
THE SUMMER OF MY LIFE. This is genuinely shaping up to be the summer of my life. I’m thinking about taking all of June and July “off” to finish my book, returning to business development sometime in August. (I’ll end up working a little bit, but not much.) Not since I was in college did I have this much time off and I worked my summers since I was 16 years old. Mostly, I’m enjoying that I now have enough time to slow my mind down. I feel like I was on super turbo for years. These days, there’s a bit less freneticism in what I do. The weather has also been incredible with cornflower blue skies, low humidity and light breezes. It’s what summer in WNY is supposed to be and the only reason to live here. We’re getting in bike rides and I’m getting in lots of outdoor time. I practically live out there now.
FROM 2-3 PM IS THE PERFECT HOUR. Nearly daily, I take the hour from 2-3 p.m. to sit outside under the umbrella on my back deck and just listen to the rhythm of life. The breeze in the trees, the birds chirping, the occasional “meow” from the catio next to me… . It’s super quiet at that time with little road noise or even human noise and it’s absolutely magical. I love that hour. I sink in and just let my mind wander. In effect, it’s that hour that allows me to fuel all of the other parts of my life. It’s like a little mini-vacation every day.
I JUST DON’T KNOW. While I am practically euphoric right now about life as a wannabe retiree, I have to admit that deep down I have doubts and it’s not really about the lost income. Instead, I wonder if I’ll get bored or lazy or too insular. I wonder if I’ll lose even more friendships or gain weight because I sit around too much. I worry that I’ll start engaging in bad habits to ward off boredom like watching television obsessively like I see many retirees do. A part of me thinks that there is plenty to keep me busy around here but the reality is that I will eventually get caught up. It may take six months or so, but eventually, I’m going to run out of things to do. At that point, will I regret my choices? Will I wish I would have worked more so we could afford more travel or more expensive things? Will my husband resent that he’s the only one working (he swears he won’t but how can he truly say that now)? Will I feel washed up and unproductive? And finally, being “retired” in summer and fall is easy, but what about in the dog days of winter? Won’t I want a job to keep me busy then?
It’s all a lot to take in right now and I’ll admit that I’m using my “perfect hour” and the other downtime in my day to figure it all out. I’m one of those people who truly has to process each thing as it comes and I’m busy processing a lot right now. But the upshot? I’m genuinely very happy and looking forward to this summer in a way I haven’t for a long time. That alone is enough to tell myself to just relax and enjoy for now.
The Yuppie Homesteader 