I’m all over the map these days. On one hand, I’m so absolutely thrilled that I can finally call it a career. While I will still work a little bit, my next gig – which doesn’t start until October-ish – is literally 5-6 hours a week. From now until then, I will finish up my existing gigs and squeeze in a couple of trips that were pre-planned. Genuinely? This feels right deep in my soul. I am – and I have been – ready for this. I enjoy being a homemaker and kitty mom and our lives are better for it.
But on the other hand? Well, I’m going to get a little real here: there’s a substantial amount of guilt. I feel badly for checking out of work so early. Technically, I have eight years left where I could work. Additionally, my husband is still working a little more than full-time and about to start training for an Ironman. If anyone needs a few extra hours in his week, it will be him.
So, how to balance?
Well first, my husband is amazing and completely supportive. He would rather me be happy and not stressed out like I’ve been this summer. He also genuinely appreciates how much more smoothly our life runs when I’m working less. Candidly, it does run pretty fabulously. Plus, I’m super grateful that he earns enough to support us easily. What money I earn will be used for my own mad money as well as extra family funds for travel and savings.
And next? Well, I’m determined that I can really make a difference at home once I can focus here. Already this summer, I’ve instituted daily outdoor time for the kitties and they love it. All four get to go out and while they are highly supervised, the outdoor time is like going to Disney for them. They run around the yard, climb a few trees (which always makes me nervous but we make them get down themselves) and sniff everything. They roll around in the grass like dogs and eat a little grass like cows. Mostly? You can tell it’s the highlight of their day.
The rest of our lives? Earlier this summer before I got busy, I saw a glimpse of how I can make our lives work better. Now I can really put it into action. One thing we both love is when the house is clean and calm. It just makes the space more relaxed. While I always kept the house in modest order, I’m fired up to dig in and clean out those little black holes that exist here and there. I also largely take care of our lawn, which makes it easier for my hubby to enjoy gardening. I do all of the meal planning, grocery shopping and food prep. I’m looking forward to being a little more organized and deliberate about those. There are days when I come in hot, sideways and with my hair on fire to get dinner on the table. (And honestly, I way overspend at the grocery store and we waste a lot of food because I throw money at the problem when I’m busy.)
The rest of the time? Well, I’m going to be a rebel here and say that I’m not necessarily going to work on me. That’s what every woman says when she exits the workforce early. Umm… okay. What does that really mean?
Instead, I do want to focus on my health and doing some running again. I worked my butt off this spring to lose weight and I don’t want to regain it. But I also want to read books, do jigsaw puzzles, decorate for the holidays and go cross country skiing (or hiking) this winter with my sisters.
The big picture here? I’m giving myself a year to settle in, calm down and build a life that I can be proud of. I don’t want to completely quit working as it would both place too much pressure on my husband as well as make me lose my mind. But I want to be deliberate about the work I do and for whom. I want to get our house and our lives to a steady state of calm and quiet where we have time for each other and time for our individual pursuits. I want to learn to value my contributions to the family beyond financial contributions. I want to help my sweet boy, Twister, lose that little bit of kitty fat that his poor little bum ticker can’t afford to have while also making sure that he’s loved and happy through his weight loss program. As for the other boys? We will all keep exploring our outdoor time. They love it and it has enriched their quality of life so much.
Today is the first Saturday of my new life and there will be a gradual step down from my old life. The rest of this month, I’ll still be traveling weekly for work one day a week. But slowly and surely, I can let go and by the time Labor Day rolls around, my goal is to be fully remote and at half of the time. September is full of trips which will be amazing and fun, along with being the perfect transition from work to home. By October, I’ll be ready for the new gig while I’m also taking care of leaves and getting us ready for winter. We also still have to get wood in and I need to refinish our Adirondack chairs and the daybed on the front porch.
And I have little goals for myself. The first is to get our out-of-control spending under control. When we both were making the money we were, it was excessive but it didn’t pinch. Now? It will pinch a bit if we don’t control it. Plus, it feels like spending less brings less noise and chaos into our lives. We don’t need things – we need simple peace. I’m excited to set and live on a budget again and now that all of our travel is paid for, we can do exactly that.
Next up? I want to get and keep us ahead of life. I’m sick of doing things at the last minute or being in crisis management. Particularly with my husband doing an Ironman, we need to make sure that there is time capacity in our lives so we’re not spinning out of control. My husband doesn’t anticipate things like I do and this is one area where I can really make progress for us.
Finally, my last goal is that I do what I can so that he has a smooth Ironman training experience. His last Ironman was a bit bumpy and his job is a little more than full-time. So, there is a precedent I need to overcome and there are a few things out of my control. But if I can make our lives run smoothly, he can have a much better experience. Case in point: I’ve already booked and paid for our rental in Lake Placid. (You have to book those a year out to get a good place and we are right in town.)
It occurs to me that I’ve waited a career’s worth of years to try something this bold and daring. As a responsibility junkie, the idea of not working as hard as I absolutely can at a job is actually terrifying. But the thought of making myself at home in our own home? Absolutely thrilling.
The Yuppie Homesteader 