I’ve read a couple of articles lately about the recession in the influencer market. Some detail a maturing of the market and that only the best are surviving. Others talk about the authenticity of content driving success. Some just note that the market expanded so rapidly that a contraction was always necessary. And it got me all thinking: am I an influencer wannabe?
My first blush says no for so many reasons. First, I don’t necessarily live or aspire to live an enviable life. Second, I’m old. Third, I’m not trying to sell anyone anything. Literally. Periodically, I may recommend something but I’ll be honest: no one would ever even think to pay me a per diem for any item I was recommending. I only do so to share what helps me do a particular project or task.
So, why do this blog? Honestly, I’m a frustrated writer. I don’t have the time to focus to finish my novel. Because that would take weeks on end of dedicated writing time, I know that I can’t commit the headspace right now. Therefore, this blog is my writing outlet. That I also attempt to align it with my search for simple peace and a slower pace of life feels realistic. And for all that it may help someone who is in a similar spot, I’m happy to share.
I guess that means I’m not an influencer but merely an over-sharer? Okay, that makes sense. I do overshare… on a regular basis.
But in that vein of oversharing, it’s literally 8:20 a.m. and I am done work for the week. On what was to be my “hell week,” I survived. Even better, I deep-cleaned my downstairs yesterday. I still have to clean the upstairs and mow the yard, but I literally have the remainder of this week and the weekend to do both things. Today? It is a true day off in my world. Simply said, I am truly grateful.
It was a very long summer slog to get to this point but I have to admit that I’m actually quite happy (now) for said slog. It clearly demonstrated to me that I’m done with most types of work. I’m happy to do some minimal consulting, but other than that? It’s over. It’s time to be home and a homemaker. I’m ready for this change and I’m ready for this life.
For the next few weeks, I’m going to focus on finishing up work with my current client and using my newfound free time to simply unwind. Because I’m a high-strung, intense personality, I tend to get myself a little more tightly wound than my peers. So fair enough, it’s going to take me a little more time to wind down than others. In fact, my goal is to be quite deliberate about this whole relaxation thing. I already have a list of projects I want to do by the end of the summer – wash windows, seal Adirondack chairs, re-stain my teak daybed, clean out the basement more – so I am reminding myself that my new state is a permanent state. I’ll be a homemaker for the rest of my life. I can pace myself and the projects can still get done in time.
Now, if I’m totally honest, I expect that I will finish all of my projects before Labor Day, because that’s just how I roll. Again, intense personality here. Still, for the very first time in my life, I am reminding myself that I don’t have to perform. I actually have all of the time in the world to get this stuff done. Perhaps even more importantly, I am reminding myself that unwinding is my absolute highest priority right now. The high-intensity cycle of chasing satisfaction by working my backside off has to eventually settle down a bit. This is my chance to learn to put myself and my psyche first.
My sister, who likely knows me as well as my hubby knows me, said as much to me the other day. She reminded me of the airline messages about oxygen masks and that it directs adults to put their own masks on first before helping children. Her point? “Sometimes, you’re no good to others if you don’t take care of yourself first.”
Point taken.
While the Adirondack chairs are definitely calling my name, I am also aware that I’ve been sleeping badly, experiencing headaches and neck pain, and generally been a little more anxious than usual lately. It is time to simply be for a little while. Yesterday, I put out the fire that was the downstairs and that felt incredibly good last night. But today? Nah. Today, what feels good is to possibly take a nap, read a book, do some “fun” shopping and simply unplug. Tomorrow I can be ambitious? Today? I’m under the influence of no one and not trying to influence anyone either.
The Yuppie Homesteader 