I had the thought this morning that maybe, perhaps, my mom was right about more than I could ever give her credit for. I’ll be honest: I have this thought a lot.
My mom was the consummate homemaker. A registered nurse, she only worked a few years while dating my dad and then supporting him as he finished college when they were first married. When my sister was born, Mom became a stay-at-home wife and mother. In later years, she would substitute for the school nurse periodically, but that was it. Her job was home, co-raising three girls with the expectation that they would go to college, stand on their own two feet and be able to support themselves no matter what. The dichotomy may be lost on others, but not us. We were just incredibly lucky to have the parents we did.
Anyway, this morning as I was chewing on my homemade blueberry muffin, I recalled that I was very pleased that I had frozen muffins and pumpkin bread to be available when we have company next week. Along with eggs, bacon and juice in the refrigerator, that will ensure everyone can have a hearty breakfast. Then it occurred to me: this is exactly the same thing my mom would have done. The sweet homemade treats signal that I was expecting you to be hungry and here’s a whole host of things to eat. Mom would have been sensitive to guests feeling a little sheepish about meals and she would have smoothed it over. It was part of what she instinctively did and never really discussed doing. And it likely took me too long to realize that I needed to do those things, too. My excuse? I just finally slowed down enough on the work front to recognize all of the things I should be doing on the home front.
And that leads me to alignment. There is a solid chance I’ll get a new contract which would be just enough hours a month to earn my own mad money and contribute a little to the family. Further, the timing would be perfect – starting in October and rolling through March/April. Mostly though? The hours aren’t too much, the work would be super interesting and it gives me September off. When life hands you a unicorn complete with a rainbow tail and a palladium horn, you just have to sit back in awe.
Part of me feels like this new opportunity is my reward for a somewhat bumpy summer with a client who hasn’t paid and another client who seriously underestimated the amount of work needed, leaving me feeling a bit boxed into a corner and overwhelmed. I’m seriously down to just a week of (hopefully) controlled chaos and then I can slow down.
What do I plan to do with all of my newfound free time? That’s easy: invest those hours back into home and family. Relearning the subtle lessons my mom taught me, exploring the creativity and wholesomeness of home food preservation and enjoying the traditions we’ve built around the fall holidays sounds absolutely amazing to me.
I continue to be surprised at how much I enjoy being a homemaker and how much satisfaction it gives me. I genuinely find it challenging and rewarding, all at the same time. I love scheduling my days around the weather and the seasons so that I take care of the tasks Mother Nature sets out for me first. Then, I get huge satisfaction from planning menus and dinners that are healthy and cooked from scratch. I love learning new foods to preserve and stacking up jars upon jars of garden goodness.
But mostly? A life focused on home (with just a little work thrown in) gives me that simple peace I’ve been pursuing since that Yoga Nidra class all those years ago. It’s calm, quiet and orderly. It allows me to make home that soft, safe place to land. It eliminates the crazy of our outside world and focuses on these heartbeats – human or otherwise – in a way that allows each heartbeat to flourish with the confidence that his or her needs will be met.
My mom understood that and I now swear the woman was brilliant. She knew how much home mattered and the one person really did need to take ownership of it and make home the best it could be. For kids and pets alike, it provides a safe space to grow up confident and secure. For the professionally busy spouse, having one person focus on taking care of what we have at home is vital to preserving both our current lifestyle and our future lifestyle. Maintenance doesn’t get delayed, protecting the future. The everyday gets just easy enough that the spouse busy with work also has time to pursue his or her interests out of work. That balance is vital to keeping our life’s ship steady and secure, even if waters get rough.
Mostly, I have to say that I’m fascinated with this new life. It’s all so incredibly interesting to me. Today’s docket is grocery shopping, taking care of ground bees, some kitty outdoor time and next week prep. Tomorrow’s docket includes making homemade ketchup, creating menus for the week and possibly a little fiction reading just for restorative purposes. (No kitty outdoor time tomorrow – it’s set to rain all day.) I also want to source a board in the basement that I can cut for our last piece of trim in the fireplace room and create a list of tasks I need to finish to get the house and guest room ready for our friends.
Early next week promises to be a bit out-of-control and there’s nothing I can do about it. But starting August 5th? I reclaim my life and by August 13th, I’m off for a week to enjoy friends. When I do go back to work, it will be at just 4-5 hours a week. From here on out, that should be the pace of the future – at least through next April. So, I’ve got 4 days to figure the last things out. Then? Well, after months – or even years – of thinking about what my new life would look like, I begin to live it. Again, my unicorn has arrived and in more ways than I could ever have imagined. Being able to actualize the lessons of my mom, having the time to really care for my family and our home and being able to create the capacity in our lives for fun pursuits is simply amazing.
When I started this journey towards simple peace, I had no idea what to expect. I simply knew that the concept resonated so strongly with me and that after years of defining myself one way, I now longed to explore another side of myself. In hindsight, I can see the path took the exact path it should have with gradual stepdowns and gentle self-exploration, but I do regret all of those anxious moments when I got nervous about what I didn’t yet know how this would all play out.
I made it. I finally stinking made it. For right now, it’s enough to let that sink in. In the meantime, I’ll get a grocery list together and plan our evening meal.
Alignment, baby. Alignment.
The Yuppie Homesteader 