If you asked me to describe myself, I no longer lead with what I do or what I used to do. Instead, I either say I’m “semi-retired” or “mostly retired.” Then, I feel the need to include how many hours a week I work. I’m not sure anyone really wanted to know that; I think it’s more that I want them to know that. (But then again, I’m also not sure why we even ask other people about what we do.)
Anyway, I read a recent NY Times columnist where the writer described herself as “trad curious.” Not necessarily a trad wife but curious about it. Me? I think I’m curious about being trad curious.
Generally, I don’t like the idea of describing myself as a retiree. It feels a little too “over-the-hill” for me and I am eight years from retirement age. (I know, most women leave the workforce at age 58 and I’m not quite there but just about.) If I had my druthers, I’d rather describe myself as “trad wife curious curious.” Yeah, I’m not even sure I want to be trad wife curious curious. And yet… .
Well, on my list of things “to do” before friends come and stay with us for a few days in August? Hmmm… make homemade ketchup and marshmallows, get candles for my one outdoor fireplace, clean the house top-to-bottom and design an appetizing menu for some foodies. If that doesn’t sound a bit – ahem – trad wife, I don’t know what would be. Further, I’m excited about all that. More excited about that than I am any of my work projects, honestly.
If that wasn’t bad enough, I’m also planning a fall harvest dinner with my niece. It will be a true harvest meal of everything we’ve grown and harvested over the summer. It will also include berries I personally picked and I’ll head to the local farmer’s market to get locally raised chickens to roast. Trad wife, anyone?
Between the two monikers, I have to say I may prefer trad wife curious curious over retiree just for the implied age thing. Still, I don’t like that term all that well either. I don’t think describing myself as a housewife is fair because I still do work a little and “kitty mom” just makes me sound as crazy as I am.
So, the question becomes, who am I? How do I describe myself? And since we get to choose what we want other people to know about ourselves by our own self-definition, what title would I give myself? Here are some thoughts…
- Stay-at-home kitty mom: this infuses a little humor into the title. Everyone knows about stay-at-home moms, but kitty moms? It demonstrates that I’m humble, have a sense of humor, I’ve got cats and I don’t take life too seriously. I kinda like that one, but need to always have my wedding rings on when I use it. Otherwise, I’m just a crazy cat lady.
- Trad wife wannabe: this has a little potential controversial undertone but if you were going for honestly descriptive, it would fit the bill. I definitely enjoy being home and taking care of home most of all. And the “wannabe” diffuses it a bit. It says I’m not quite there yet and I’m still in the amateur leagues.
- Speaking of amateur, there’s always “amateur retiree”. Again, says I’m just trying this out and not a professional yet, but it includes that dreaded “retiree” word. I think I’ll save this one until I’m 70 or so.
- Professional burnout: now that has a little ring to it. I’m definitely professionally burned out. I’ve got no love lost for the professional world anymore. It did me right for a long, long time and I’m grateful for all it provided. But now? The thought of work makes me cringe.
- Just Gail: the fact is that we don’t have to share our “who are we?” descriptors with anyone. Oftentimes, they don’t ask for it. And if they do, in that “so what are you doing these days?” way, I can always default to one of the above. And my answer can depend on the circumstances, the audience and how I’m feeling at the time.
Oh, but right now? I’m going with stay-at-home kitty mom. I tried it out with the furry ones and they agree – it’s the best of them all.
The Yuppie Homesteader 